Hole in One

(GOLF CLUB WHOOSHING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

TYLER:
The shaft's a bit longer on this one,

so just give it some room to breathe.

(EXCLAIMING)

Man down.

Ah, Mark, whatever.

He can take a shot to the head.

- Big Dog eats good.

- Sweet.

Seriously, man. You've got more

natural talent than anyone I've ever seen.

I mean, in a few years from now,

people are gonna be like, "Tiger who?"

- Hey, guys.

- You got everything we need?

I do. Your future is in my hands.

Hey, excuse me.

How would you like a PAHR T-shirt?

Number one up-and-coming

golf apparel company in the U.S.

Sure.

(GASPS)

Oh.

Thanks.

No, no, thank you.

- How did you do that?

- That was pimp.

Shit. I needed that shirt for the presentation.

- Oh, is that today?

- We're headed over there right now.

- Nice.

- We're gonna blow them away, all right?

PAHR is up and running, making a profit.

And we just stole Nike away

from Ash-Whole.

- Seriously? Nice. All right.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Right on.

- Hey, wait a minute.

E, don't you have English Lit?

Uh...

Yeah, sort of.

- Had a little problem with his professor.

- What problem?

He slept with her.

You slept with Mrs Watley?

- No.

- Now she keeps calling him.

- (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) "Eric, Eric."

- It wasn't my fault, though.

We were in an elevator together

and there was porno music playing...

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Is that...

I think so.

(BELL RINGING)

(MOANING)

You're my hero.

Your old man is gonna kill you when

he finds out you've been ditching classes.

Uh-uh. That's why we're gonna make sure

he doesn't find out.

Besides, once I pull a Bobby Jones,

he's gonna forget all about it.

It won't even matter.

Wait, an amateur is not gonna win

the US Open again.

It's been 80 years.

I think it's time. My time.

Get out of the way.

My time.

(GROANS) Son of a...

Oh, yeah!

I do like this club. Can I keep this?

- Hey, Sis.

- Hey, Ty.

Hey, Eric.

Hey, Mandy.

I haven't seen you on campus much lately.

Yeah, well, you know.

Too many beers need drinking.

And too many girls that need loving.

And night after night

I sit in my dorm all alone.

Well, you know,

I'm working my way over there.

I need this for the presentation.

Okay.

- Come on, Jason, let's go. Go.

- But I was just hanging out...

- Good luck.

- Later, man.

See you, guys. Oh, hey, are you going

to the Delta Tau party tonight?

(SHUSHING)

What?

Stay focused. I'll call you later.

Where you going? Class?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Mind if I walk you?

- Sure.

So, where is this party?

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark

and say that Ty doesn't want his little sister

at a frat party.

(SCOFFS) He doesn't run my life.

I'm 18 now, I can do what I want.

- All right, well...

- You know I'll find out where it is anyway.

He's gonna come after me with a five iron

if he finds out I'm the one who told you.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hold on a second. Sorry.

Hey.

Yo, E.

I got a live one here.

What's his handi?

He thinks he's an eight.

Yeah? And he's looking for some action?

FERGUS:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get down here now, man.

All right.

I gotta jet. I got a fish on the hook.

There's gotta be a better way

to make money.

No, I gotta hustle every cent I can.

Maybe I should just sell my body for sex.

- In that case...

- No, no, no, no, no.

Your money is no good here.

I'll toss you one on the house.

Yeah. First taste is free,

after that it's gonna cost you.

(LAUGHS) Oh, jeez.

All right. Go to class, you.

- See you at the party later?

- We'll see. We'll see.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

(GROANING)

(CAMERA CLICKING)

- He's good.

- Yeah.

- He's real good.

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