High School Page #5

---

My dad's gonna cancel

the Spice Channel if I get expelled,

beat me up

with my own severed cock.

Let... yo, let me call you right back.

- What?

- You did this to me.

Do you have any idea

how screwed I am right now?

Look, chill, man.

You're causing a scene.

I'm causing a scene?

Causing a scene? What?!

What?

Look, there are other people

trippir balls

pretty hard core right now.

Dude, I'm not like other people.

Okay? I don't trip on balls.

Okay? If I'm busted, I can kiss

my MIT scholarship good-bye.

My entire life

is on the line right now.

Yeah, all right. Hey, you guys,

the pumpkins are trying to kill us.

You gotta go talk to 'em.

Come on, seriously, go.

- What's with them?

- Come on.

This is my cleansing box.

It's for emergency situations.

We've got goldenseal,

but I think they test for that now.

Tea regimen, but it takes

something like two to three days.

There's always urine masks,

but sometimes your piss

can come out a little too clean.

Like it's not even urine anymore.

It's Aquafina.

Okay, so what else

do we have, man? Is that it?

There's the piss pump.

It's classic, but if they frisk you,

they're gonna find it.

- Right.

- The bottom line is anything you use

will buy you a 40% chance

of passing.

That's an F.

That's an F, Breaux.

You know, this is what

they warn you about in that video.

It starts out fun until you start

clawing your eyes out

in a padded cell with al-Qaeda.

One hit could really ruin your life.

I mean, you could always

go around to high schools.

You know, like,

"Don't be like me. I blew it.

Threw my life down

the garbage disposal...

for weed."

Come on!

- Hey, I'm playing, man.

- This is a big deal, Breaux.

I need your... this is a big deal!

Yeah, I know, man.

# Have you ever

watched the sun go down #

# And you're thinking

'bout the world spinnir round? #

# Have you ever

been high as f***? #

# You're in the bathroom mirror

talking to yourself #

# And your dog's lookir at you

like you need help #

# Have you ever been

high as f***? #

Oh.

Have you been throwing

cold cuts at my window?

Yo, have you been crying?

Yo, meet me

at the tree house, gangster.

Yo, who the f*** touched my whip?

Got you!

"Sodium aluminum sul..."

There's aluminum in this?

What the f***?

Look, uh, what if we

walked in tomorrow,

failed the drug test,

and no one even noticed?

What if you could fail and still be

valedictorian and still go to MIT?

- Jesus Christ, you're high again.

- Yeah, I'm always high...

Dude, that's a stoner fantasy, man.

How could I fail the drug test

and no one care?

- If everyone fails.

- Of course.

If we can't pass the test, fine.

F*** it.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes