High Road Page #3

I wanna go to that. I know.

It's cool, right?

It's really cool.

You look really cute.

You look cute in this hat. Yeah?

Mm-hmm. I feel like a sailor.

You look like you're in

the Perfect Storm.

Hey, it's late.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna set the alarm.

I'm gonna take a melatonin,

you're gonna brush your teeth,

and then we'll meet

in the bedroom.

Does that sound good? Okay.

Okay. I'm gonna be a dining

room virgin forever.

What's up, dude?

Yeah, I have Kermit.

Uh, usually I don't,

uh, deal in that much

Kermit the Frog.

Did you read newest draft

of my thing?

It's a very incoherent

and very bad rock opera.

I'm gonna just tell it to you straight,

because that's what they teach me here.

Your rock opera

is really terrible.

It's a really terrible

piece of work.

It's not terrible. Look at me.

It's really terrible.

You didn't like the new character?

No, I didn't.

The traitor? The traitor, who

is based obviously on me.

Oh, get over yourself.

It's totally based on Snapes.

Snape? Yeah.

From Harry Potter? Yes.

I'm not a narcissist.

A faggy praying mantis

with a Bluetooth

walks onto the stage.

Yeah. And he used to be down.

Now he's not down.

Okay, you go take it to f***ing

the Dumbledore in your life,

if I'm Snape, okay?

You don't come to the person you're

ridiculing to finance that project.

Look, I'll tell you something.

Everybody comes to me with favors.

Everybody wants favors.

Everyone wants me to grease wheels for them.

What about

when I was in Tor Eagle?

You guys would stonewall me.

You wanted my brains, you wanted me to book the gigs,

you wanted me to use my f***ing Quicken

program to balance our checkbook,

but when it came time

for you to pony up

on a song that I wrote, oh, no.

You're stuff sounded

like reggaeton, dude.

That's my culture.

That is not your culture.

That's my culture.

Your parents are from Connecticut.

But my nanny is from Haiti.

I'm sorry. I didn't know

that you felt like that.

Yeah. So I apologize.

Apology accepted, "mon."

God, look at her.

I need the strongest stuff you have.

Give me the Jamaican Dank

or whatever the f***,

because she's gonna need

a lot of coaxing.

You know what I mean?

Good Lord.

Yeah.

What do I owe you?

Nothing. I'm not a drug dealer.

You are a drug dealer.

I'm not a drug dealer.

You have a backpack

full of weed, right?

I like weed. And sometimes my

friends need me to hook them up.

You got a three-day beard, right?

Yeah.

Sort of directionless in your life?

Sort of.

Pissed off at your dad? Yeah.

You're a drug dealer.

No. I'm an artist.

Triangles, dude, everywhere.

Lakers, D-Fish, Kobe, Pau.

Phil Knight is a big supporter

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