Harold and Maude Page #7

Harold starts to say something.

MRS. CHASEN

(continuing)

Please, Harold, we have a lot to

do and I have to be at the

hairdresser's at three.

(she looks over

the papers)

The Computer Dating Service

offers you at least three dates

on the initial investment. They

screen out the fat and ugly so

it is obviously a firm of high

standards. I'm sure they can

find you at least one girl who

is compatible. Now first, here

is the personality interview which

you are to fill out and return.

There are fifty questions with

five possible responses to check...

"A - Absolutely Yes, B - Yes,

C - Not sure, D - No, E -

Absolutely No." Are you ready,

Harold?

The first question is "Are you

uncomfortable meeting new people?"

Well, I think that's a "yes."

Don't you agree, Harold? Even an

"Absolutely yes." We'll put down

"A" on that. Now, number two.

"Do you believe it is acceptable

for women to initiate dates with

men?" Well, absolutely. Mark "A"

on that. "Three - Should sex

education be taught outside the

home?" I would say no, wouldn't

you, Harold? Give a "D" there.

Mrs. Chasen continues filling out Harold's questionnaire

without hardly ever even looking over for his reaction.

He sits there, watching.

MRS. CHASEN

"Four - Do you often invite friends

to your home?" Now, you never do,

Harold. Absolutely no. "Five -

Do you enjoy participating in clubs

and social organizations?" You

don't, do you? Absolutely no.

"Six - Do you enjoy spending a lot

of time by yourself?" Absolutely

yes. Mark "A." "Seven - Should

women run for President of the

United States?" I don't see why

not. Absolutely yes. "Eight -

Do you have ups and downs without

obvious reason?" You do, don't

you, Harold? Absolutely yes.

"Nine - Do you remember jokes and

take pleasure in relating them to

others?" You don't, do you, Harold?

Absolutely no. "Ten - Do you

often get the feeling that perhaps

life isn't worth living?" Hmm.

What do you think, Harold?

Harold looks blankly back at his mother.

MRS. CHASEN

(continuing)

"A"? "B"? We'll put down "C" -

"Not sure." "Eleven - Is the

subject of sex being over-exploited

by our mass media?" That would

have to be "Yes," wouldn't it?

"Twelve - Do you think judges favor

some lawyers?" Yes, I suppose they

do. "Thirteen - ....

Harold sits passively in his chair. Slowly he draws a

revolver from his pocket. As his mother rattles on he very

deliberately loads the bullets one by one into the chamber.

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