Happiness Page #5

TRISH:

(whispers coyly)

Like how come no matter how much

you treat me like sh*t,

I can't help loving you even more?

22.INT. BILL'S BEDROOM - LATER.22.

While TRISH puts CHLOE and TIMMY to bed, BILLY comes and

sits beside BILL on his bed.

BILLY:

Dad?

BILL:

Yes, Billy?

BILLY:

What does come mean?

BILL:

Come?

BILLY:

You know�

BILL:

Well, you know how sometimes your

penis gets erect�well, sometimes

it gets so excited that a sticky

milky substance shoots out.

BILLY:

�Dickwad?

BILL:

Yes, only come can be used as a

verb as well.

(a beat)

Billy?

BILLY:

Yeah?

BILL:

Have you ever come?

BILLY:

Yeah�

BILL:

Now Billy, it's alright if you haven't.

BILLY:

Well, I have�

BILL:

Billy�

BILLY:

But everyone else in class had and�

I want to come, too!

BILLY starts crying.

BILL:

Awn, now, it's okay, it's okay.

Have you tried playing with yourself?

BILLY:

You mean�

BILL:

With your penis.

BILLY:

A little.

BILL:

How did it feel?

BILLY:

I dunno. I don't know what to do.

BILL:

Do you want me to�show you?

BILLY:

No! No! I'm not normal!

BILLY buries his head in BILL'S lap.

BILL:

Aw, Billy. Don't worry. You're normal.

You'll come. One day. You'll see.

23.INT. JOY'S PLACE - DAY.23.

JOY is preparing to cook a steak. She is wearing rubber

globes. HELEN sits with a coffee mug at the kitchen table.

HELEN:

Y'know, people were always putting

New Jersey down. None of my friends

can believe I live here. But that's

because they don't get it:

I'm living in a state of irony.

JOY:

Are you sure you don't wanna

stay and have dinner with me?

HELEN:

I can't. I'm giving another reading/

book-signing over at Barnes & Noble,

and then Jamal is taking me out �

although I promised Fabiacho�Uch.

Everybody wants me�

The phone rings.

HELEN:

That's it, I'm going.

JOY:

Wait!

JOY picks up the phone.

JOY:

Hello?

VOICE:

Hi! How are you?

JOY:

Is this Damien?

VOICE:

Yeah!� So, uh, how are you doing?

JOY:

Oh, fine. Could you hold a second?

Helen?

HELEN is almost out the door.

HELEN:

See ya!

JOY:

Thanks for stopping by!

HELEN leaves.

JOY:

(into phone)

Sorry. That was my sister leaving.

VOICE:

Oh. Yeah�um�yeah�

Pause.

JOY:

So, um, Trish told me you might

be calling.

VOICE:

Yeah, well�

JOY:

Oh, I know how weird these things

can be, but I've always had such faith

in Trish's judgment that I thought

why not. It's not like I've got some

huge social life. I mean, I do have a

social life. It's just not huge.

VOICE:

Same here.

JOY:

Oh, really? That's so nice to hear.

Most people seem so confident�

VOICE:

Yeah�

JOY:

Or, well, you know�

They're just real jerks.

VOICE:

Yeah�uh� What are you doing?

JOY:

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to

thaw this steak�but it's so hard

and� I'm sorry.

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