Hamlet 2 Page #3

I don't like airing

our personal business

in front of

you-know-who, Gary,

but if you're shooting

blanks, I swear to God,

I'm going to stab you

to death in your sleep.

But, seriously, you gotta

let your balls breathe, okay?

It's in that pamphlet I read.

It's... And the corduroy has got

to go, especially with the skating.

It's like...

We live in Tucson, for f***'s sake.

You're broiling our little tadpoles

in that crotch of yours. What?

Can I get a virgin strawberry, please?

Seven years sober.

Awesome.

I seriously, seriously wish

you would start drinking again.

Brie, I would never judge you.

Good, because if I had to give up booze,

I'd blow my brains out

living in this sh*t-sack city.

Anyway, to Dana.

My husband. What the

f*** was I thinking?

I'm just kidding.

I don't have a drink.

Did you do something

different with your hair today?

Look, I have a life plan,

and it does not include you.

Well, if you don't

spend no time with me,

how are you supposed to

get to know me, sunshine?

That's the whole point.

I don't want to spend time with you.

So pretty!

It's from Ethiopia.

I re-watched a fantastic

movie last night,

Dangerous Minds,

starring the gorgeous Michelle Pfeiffer.

It gave me a little insight into

your character, Mr. Tough Guy.

Okay, stand up.

Why?

We're going to karate.

No, man. I don't think so.

Come on.

Nice freeball.

Now, punch me.

I'm not punching a guy in a dress.

It's a kaftan, my friend.

Keeps my balls at room temp. Now, do it.

Don't make me do this.

Do it.

Do it!

You all right?

Mr. M? Oh, my God!

I can't believe this is happening to me.

Mr. M, are you okay?

Breathe!

I wasn't ready.

Mr. Marx, could I have a minute?

Sure! Sure, sure.

What's the matter with you?

Trying to inspire a troubled student.

Look, I thought you should

know as soon as possible.

Last night, the school board, which

is facing major financial cuts,

decided to cancel drama.

Cancel how?

Completely. Forever.

You can stay till the end of

the term and after that, get out.

You can't have a school

without a drama department.

Sure, you can.

This is obviously a practical joke.

Look, the county and the school

district are in fiscal crisis.

All the arts programs

are on the chopping block.

And let's face it, we're not

producing any Oscar-winners here.

Tony.

What?

That would be Tony-winners.

It's the award for theater.

Listen up, guy. I've seen your plays.

This is no great loss.

Well, you're a dirty, violent beaner!

You shouldn't have hit him like that!

Shut up, you cow. It wasn't my fault.

He made me hit him.

That, to you...

You are racist, okay?

And a terrible person! Oh, really?

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