Gun Shy Page #3

Sheila, Sheila.

Things are looking up.

Ohh!

When I was five years old,

I had a pet cat.

It was a Siamese cat.

I loved him very much.

His name was Nomo.

Like the baseball player?

Exactly

like the baseball player,

except my Nomo

was run over by a car, dead.

I took the body,

sealed it in a plastic bag,

put it in the family trashcan,

and five long,

hot summer days later,

the stench coming out of

that can was unbelievable.

That's what your town

smells like to me.

Do you know why

I like snakes, Ramon?

No. I don't

think anyone does.

Because they're so clean.

And they can shed their skin.

I wish I could shed my skin.

I would just take it

all right off right here.

Snakes and I

have that in common.

You know what else

we have in common?

You can dislocate your jaw?

We can only thrive

in certain environments.

We need to be in a safe place

in order to be the dominant killing

machines that we're meant to be.

What I'm trying to say is

I need to get out of this

pestilent colonial dump.

I'm wasted.

Ah!

Here it is.

What is it?

A Taser gun. They wouldn't

authorize issue,

so I just bought one myself.

- Ah. A toy one?

- No, it's a real one.

Look, "shock your friends

with 20,000 volts.

Be your own

real-life dirty Barry."

I'm sure that's just a misprint.

Oh, very impressive, sir.

Chile is a safer place today.

Open this.

It's hurting my gums.

This is the hotel manager.

It's an emergency!

What?!

Ohm. Ohm. Ohm.

Excuse me.

May I come in?

All right. Come in.

I'm sorry, sir.

I've been ringing you over and

over again without an answer.

You better be telling me that

it's the end of the world,

or that someone

kidnapped my wife.

Someone has kidnapped your wife.

Exactly. You better

be telling me that.

Someone has kidnapped your wife.

They're asking

for a million dollars.

Oh! Oh! Oh, thank god.

I thought they'd be asking

for a lot of money.

John Hardigger's office,

this is Marybeth.

Hey, Marybeth.

It's Turk.

I need to speak to John.

Turk!

Ohh!

Well, John's in a meeting.

Who is he with that is

more important than me?

Right now, Turk, everyone.

Uh, well, he's in a meeting

with the lead singer

of masculine Harmony right now

trying to convince him

to stay in the closet.

We all want to be gay,

Steve. All of us.

No women telling us what to do,

great fashion sense.

You can seemingly grab

women's breasts Willy-nilly,

and it's apparently fine.

But I just don't see

that working for you

in the context

of the music industry.

Look, think about it.

Which would you rather have...

The freedom to love whoever

you choose or loads of cash?

Can I help you?

Tell John that Sheila

has been kidnapped

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