Guarding Tess Page #3

One of you, come and hold the pin.

Yes, ma'am.

Putt!

Would you be kind enough

to get my first ball, please, Doug?

I'm a Secret Service agent,

Mrs. Carlisle, not a caddy.

You want that ball?

I suggest you go get it yourself.

- Ralph?

- Yo!

Since you've insisted

on me staying...

you should know I intend

to do my job by the book...

which means we don't run errands,

we don't make snacks...

and we don't check our guns

at the door.

Now, if you don't like

any of this...

I suggest you call Washington

and get yourself a new man.

I'd be very careful

if I were you, Agent.

You 're way out of your depth.

Let's switch.

- I've got to go up to the clubhouse.

- Sure thing, Doug.

I told her...

I told her...

"No more calling us 'gofers with guns,'

snacks in the middle of the night...

no more checking our weapons

outside your bedroom door."

You said that?

In so many words, I said,

from now on, we go by the book.

- And she stood for this?

- She didn't say a thing.

Oh, yeah. She tells me

to go find her ball.

I said, "I'm not a caddy.

I'm a Secret Service agent.

- You want that ball, find it yourself."

- Come on.

- Are you crazy?

- No. Here's why...

Doug, telephone.

- Hello?

- Mr. Chesnic?

- Yes.

- Please hold for the president.

- Hello?

- Uh, hello!

- That you, Doug?

- Yes, sir.

- How are ya?

- I'm fine. And you?

Well, I got this call

from Tess Carlisle.

And I know this sounds

a little crazy...

but did you tear up

some flowers of hers?

- Doug? You there?

- Yes, sir.

- Somethin ' about a bunch of roses.

- Well, uh, no.

- It wasn't a bunch. Sir.

- Uh-huh.

- Well, how many of them were there?

- Just one, sir.

I see.

And you tore it up, did ya?

- No, sir. I didn't tear it up.

- Well, what 'd you do?

- I merely removed the bud.

- From her flower?

Yes. Sir.

Okay. Well, let's get

past that for a second.

- I was her husband's vice president.

- Yes, sir.

Frankly, I owe a lot to the Carlisles.

She seconded my nomination.

- You know that too.

- Yes, sir.

Why don 't we try to get along better

in Ohio? What do you say?

- Yes, sir. Absolutely.

- I don 't get it.

One day she calls me,

says she can 't live without you.

Next day, shes callin ',

almost in tears.

So maybe you two have some kind

of sicko thing goin ' on...

- No! No, sir. I can tell you...

- I'll tell you this, Doug.

Any more phone calls from her, you 're

gonna be guardin' my dog. Understand?

- Yes, sir.

- 'Cause I probably got...

the most important job in the world,

and I feel like a goddamn idiot...

havin' to call you

about a goddamn flower I

- You know what I mean?

- I certainly do.

Are you gonna help me out

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