Growing Up and Other Lies Page #3

friends with you again?

Come on, you love me.

I'm an anarchist,

but I'm not a dangerous one.

I don't accept that there's

any order in the cosmos

but I do want the trains to run.

I mean, I'm just looking

at the two of you and...

You do everything he does,

like, you're just...

You're his shadow. I mean why

did you order an egg cream?

What are you intimating?

I love egg creams.

Why else would I order...

Delicious.

Yes, they are delicious. Yeah.

You love egg creams?

Then tell me,

lover of egg creams,

what's in an egg cream?

You don't have to answer that.

What?

No, he does.

What's, what's in an egg cream?

It's fine. All right, all

right I'm gonna tell you.

Okay. First of all

there is chocolate.

Cream.

Chocolate syrup.

Syrup and there are eggs in there.

Seltzer. Seltzer.

- Seltzer. Seltzer.

- And there's Seltzer.

Whole milk... Uh, there's...

You know...

You know what, there are... Who

cares what is in the egg...

I don't...

All that matters

is that they're refreshing

and delicious. Right.

Couldn't agree more.

Okay?

Look no one wants to stop

you from going and helping your dad,

but why are you staying there?

You don't know anything

about rubber and plastic.

Ach, what's there to know.

And that's not the point anyway.

The point is that it's a stable

career and that's what I need.

You know what else is stable?

Death. You should try that.

Gee whiz, thanks, buddy. That

makes me feel a whole lot better.

You're welcome.

What do you want me to do?

My dad needs me, you know.

He asked for my help

and I'm gonna help him.

If I don't go now,

he's gonna have to sell.

I guess I didn't

expect you to give up.

Billy, maybe... Who said

anything about giving up?

My work is still up

at Starving Arts.

You know, like...

I can still paint from

wherever I am, including Ohio.

You know, Tabatha

thinks it's very sweet.

Oh, so you're taking advice

from your ex-girlfriend?

Nice. A friend. A current

friend, as well.

Sure, that's a sound decision.

Jesus, man there's only so many

times I can watch my bank account

fall before zero before

I want to kill myself.

You know, I'm in my thirties...

And I'm moving into

my dad's basement!

Temporarily, I said.

Temporarily.

Yeah, that's what everyone who moves

into their dad's basement says.

Oh my God! And 30 years

later they murder someone.

Oh, I get it now.

I get it. So obvious.

Oh.

You're gonna miss me.

You know me better than that.

You are.

You're gonna miss me.

Come here. Give me a goodbye kiss.

Huh? No.

Don't touch me. You think our

facial hair is gonna stick together

Nobody, nobody likes you. like Velcro?

Baby. Baby.

Nobody likes you.

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