Goon: Last of the Enforcers

(crowd cheering)

(SportsDesk theme music)

- Hey, I'm James Duffy.

- Yes, he is. I'm Chad Bailey,

sexy, roguish new face of

our parent company's effort

to rebrand SportsDesk

for a new generation.

SportsDesk, it's not

delivery; it's SportsDesk.

- OK, uh, we go live to

Reading, Pennsylvania.

With the Big League officially shut

down thanks to the lockout, all eyes

are on the ENHL tonight

as the Reading Wolfdogs

get set to take on the Halifax...

- Highlanders, this season, the big show

made it to us. This lockout means

there's gonna be a whole bunch

of big d*cks swinging away down to

our league. Play is gonna get faster,

the hits are gonna get harder,

crowd's gonna get "crowdier."

F***ing boys of the light brigade,

and you're gonna need someone

at the tip of the spear. You need a cap.

- Yeah.

- He's bled blue and orange for this team

a long time.

- That's right.

- He's got that sh*t that keeps him going

long after he has any reason to.

- (Coach):
Open that up.

- Dougie. My boy. Put this f***er on!

Come on!

- (player):
Looks good on you.

- Cheers. - (player): Alright.

- C, whoo!

(sighing)

- Thank you guys so much.

I've never been a captain before.

One time, I had a dream that I

was a captain of a monkey ship.

There was all these monkeys

playing around, laughing,

having fun, singing,

wearing little monkey sailor hats,

fighting over life jackets.

Pierce Brosnan was screaming.

I hope one day I could be

the captain of your dreams.

Best wishes. Doug Glatt.

- OK, yeah, alright, good. Well, we... Dougie,

didn't make you captain for your speeches.

We made you captain... Because you leave

it all out there on the f***ing ice.

Ah, this sport is everything to you, right?

You make me proud to own this team.

I want you all to watch

Doug out there tonight.

Watch him do whatever the

f*** it takes to get us

the W. That said,

come on, let's get after

it, boys! (cheering)

- Congrats, bud. - Fresh-beat ice, boys.

- Thank you, buddy.

- I can't wait, Dougie.

- Go out and captain out there.

- (Duffy):
Joining us for tonight's

game, our own Red McCauley.

- (McCauley):
Reading city

council spent a bunch of money

on a new Jumbotron and right now,

it's making everything red.

- Go, boys!

(siren)

- I love this f***ing game.

- (McCauley):
And back to Reading here.

Here's Laflamme dancing with the puck.

Laflamme spins. He shoots. He hit the post!

Now it's Laflamme again. He's all

over the ice! Murphy steps into him.

Ohh! Glatt absolutely levels

Michael Murphy. Sorry, Mikey.

- (McCauley):
Glatt's escorted aside

by a couple of Reading Wolfdogs.

Laflamme! He was flattened.

That angers Glatt.

Glatt fires a left. He fires a right.

- Sorry, Mikey.

- (McCauley):
They're falling.

The Wolfdogs are down.

- Sorry, Mikey.

- Shut the f*** up, Doug.

- (McCauley):
And that is what

friends are for, especially

when your friends are huge

Jewish guys named Doug Glatt.

(dynamic music)

Here's Laflamme taking the

puck. He moves up the left wing.

Laflamme trying to go to the

outside as the penalties expire.

Both sides at full swing.

Laflamme in behind the goal,

takes it into the corner He circles.

What's in front? Awaiting there is Glatt,

but Laflamme holds up, jams out. He scores!

Laflamme makes it 1-nothing for

the Halifax Highlanders. Alright.

- (McCauley):
Reunited,

and it feels so good.

It's a new dawn for

the Halifax Highlanders.

(encouragements)

- You're like Captain America!

- "Captain America"!

- (McCauley):
New owner and

GM Hyrum Cain's plan to win

a championship in his

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