Goods Page #6

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Well, one day, this little girl fell in love

with a boxer named Winston.

But their love was too good to last,

and one day,

the Vice Lords came a-calling,

saying, "Winston,

it's time to take a dive."

Coroner found two bullets in his heart.

One of them

was meant for this little girl.

It's a hard world, mama

You got to push on through

'Cause life in the ghetto

Well, everyone told this little girl

to shut her mouth and go away.

But she didn't do that.

She made sure every single one

of those pieces of human trash

looked her straight in the eye

before she pulled the trigger

on that platinum.357 Magnum.

Jose!

Ramon!

It ain't easy

I got to tell you people, on TV,

they don't show the dead man

when the poop leaves the butt.

Make no mistake, gentlemen,

when you die, poop leaves your butt.

Man. That is a dark story.

I know. I made it up.

Have a great sale, everybody.

- What?

- Great sale.

It ain't easy

- She made it up?

- It ain't easy.

I'm Brent Gage.

They call me The Magician.

I am a wizard with numbers.

I have never, never lost a sale

to bad credit.

Quick story. A couple years ago,

MC Hammer, remember him?

He was in bankruptcy,

living on the street,

sleeping in the left leg

of his Hammer pants.

The next day,

I financed that man a car,

no questions asked.

Hammer lived in that car

for the next year and a half.

So you guys are just taking over?

With your cool nicknames

and your confidence?

I mean, how are we supposed to feel?

Yeah, what about our sales?

Our commissions?

It's all good.

I'm Don "The Goods" Ready.

Everyone here told you their story.

Here's mine.

I have hair on my balls and I sell cars.

The end.

All right. Today, tomorrow, Monday.

It's July 4th weekend, everybody,

and we're going to war, all right?

When you guys are deep in the sh*t,

I want you to think about the real heroes

of this Independence Day.

The Revolutionary War soldier

who had his gangrene foot sawed off,

with nothing to numb the pain

except a shot of whiskey

and that guy with the weird headband

playing the flute.

What about Private Jones, huh?

Seventeen-year-old soldier.

Got his guts shot out

in a 'Nam rice paddy. All right?

Dick here knows what I'm talking about.

He's talking about freedom,

you f***ing queers!

Don't even get me started

on Pearl Harbor.

Our Navy boys out there

enjoying the bright Hawaiian sun,

when all of a sudden, here comes

the Japs flying in low and fast.

This dealership is our battlefield.

Don't give up the fight.

We are the Americans,

and they are the enemy. Never again.

Never again.

Never again!

- Never again! Never again! Never again!

- Never again! Never again! Never again!

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