Going Berserk

Synopsis: Limo driver John Bourgignon is engaged to Nancy Reese. Her father, Congressman Ed Reese, is running for president and crusading against cult leader Sun Yi. Misadventure and intrigue stalk John and Nancy's path to the altar.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): David Steinberg
Production: Universal Studios
85 min

I know, I know,

we're almost there.

All right, all right, okay, let's...

Oh, cut that out!

Will you stop that?

Will you knock that off?

Come on, a joke is a joke.

Will you cut it out?

All right,

smoke 'em if you got 'em.

All right, lighten up

and listen to me now.

Hi. I guess you're wondering

how I got here.

Well, let me

first introduce myself.

My name is John Bourgignon,

of the Melonville Bourgignons.

And a good friend of mine

Chick Leff and I

ran a limousine service

back in the States.

You see, I was about

to get married to this girl

Nancy Reese.

Well, see for yourself.

You're not gonna believe

this story.

You're really not

gonna believe it.

You might believe it,

I don't know.

You might buy it,

you might not. Check it out.

I'm just gonna stop off

at Sal's for a second.

No, I don't wanna go there.

He's gonna talk us

into acting in another one

of his kung fu movies again.

That was embarrassing.

What do you

think he wants?

Look, the only time he ever

talks to me is when we're

late on limo payments,

and we're not late, so...

How does he make any money

on a look-alike service?

He don't.

We're here to see

Mr. Di Pasquale.

I think his mother

is on the phone.

May I say who's calling?

Tell him John

and Chick are here.

I'll see if he's free.

Thank you.

F*** you!

Yeah, well, f*** you!

He's on a conference call.

If you'd care to take a seat,

he'll be with you momentarily.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Thank you.

Hey, Chick, Johnny, come on.

I've been waiting for you.

Come on inside.

I didn't know you guys

were here.

Chick, how you doing?

Here comes the bride,

here comes the bride

I got an important

meeting inside.

No phone calls,

no interruptions.

I don't wanna be disturbed.

What if you get a phone call?

No phone calls!

I got an important

meeting inside.

No interruptions,

no nothing!

Yes, Mr. Dispas...


Di Pasquale, Di Pasquale!

Make yourself at home.

Is this a real Oscar, Sal?

You bet your fat ass it is,

Johnny. It's the real thing.

Best Foreign Film, 1958.

My Big Hill.

Somebody gave me that.

One of these days

I'm gonna have my own.

I've been thinking about

getting back into movies,

you know?

Yeah. Sit down.

Thanks, Sal.

So, so, so,

a lot's been happening

since I seen you last.

Been reading about you

in the paper and everything.

I mean, you're marrying

Ed Reese's daughter,

that's a very big thing.

I guess so, yeah.

So, how'd you swing that?

Well, we met

and we liked each other.

We fell in love

and we're gonna

get married.

That's very warm.

I mean, I like the sound.

The love thing

is very important,

because you know,

my own marriage didn't

work out too good, but I don't

wanna get into that now.

Sal, show him the picture.

He don't wanna

see the picture.

Come on, show him the picture.

He don't wanna see.

So I carry a picture

of the ex on me.

You know,

just for old times' sake.

I'd like to see it.

She was a sweet kid.

She was 18 when I married her.

Where'd you meet her,

in high school?

No. I wish

I went to high school.

Take a look at this.


Took a good picture, huh?




The whole thing

turned to rat sh*t

just after the honeymoon.

Well, look, Sal,

why'd you call us here?

You know,

wouldn't it be interesting

if you talked Ed Reese

into letting me film

the entire wedding?

No, I'm sorry.

No, it just wouldn't work.

You don't think

I'm good enough?

I didn't say that.

Maybe you didn't see

a little film I like

to call Kung Fu U!


Maybe you don't remember

a little Salvatore

Di Pasquale production,

which just happened

to gross $410,000

across this entire country

including drive-ins.

I guess you don't

remember that, huh?

And I put you

in the damn movie!

Sorry, Johnny, I got a bark

that's worse than my bite.

I gotta do something

about this temper.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that.

Oh, no, that's all right.

I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

I just think it's...

He just won't go along

with it, that's all.

Hey, you wanna know

what I think?

I think it would be good

for his image.

I really feel it'd be wrong.

I mean, he doesn't like me.

Telephone, Mr. Dispasques...



Hey, let me ask

you boys something.

How much money do you

still owe on the limo? Just...

I don't know. About,

a little over $10,000,

I think.


It's a lot of money.

That's a lot of fares.

That's a lot of work.

You know, I'd be willing

to kiss that money off

if you could swing

a deal with Reese.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no...

Well, it's real important

to me, Johnny.

You do this, do this for me,

I do this for you.

Scratch my back,

I'm scratching yours.

Well, Sal, it's impossible.

Thanks very much.

Well, just think about it,

that's all.

We gotta go to work.


that's a lot of money.

I know it is,

and I'm thinking about it.


All right, I'll tell you

what I'll do. I'll ask Nancy

to ask the old man,

but I'm not

promising anything.

Great. That's all I ask.

Now, do me a favor, would you?

I'm not covering

for you tonight.

I'm sorry. No,

I cannot work late.

Now, we've got that

big brunch tomorrow

at Nancy's folks',

and I wanna be perky

and charming.

Easy fare.

They're classical musicians.

You just take them

to their hotel.

It'll only take a minute.

No! No is no.

We are live

outside the courthouse

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Dana Olsen

Dana Olsen is an American actor, film producer and screenwriter. His written works include George of the Jungle, The 'Burbs and Inspector Gadget. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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