God Bless America Page #3

Drama queen!

Drama queen!

Daddy is a drama queen!

Yeah, thanks.

Hi, Karen.

Hi.

Oh, uh...

here's that book

I was telling you about.

Thanks.

True, true.

But you know what I was thinking?

If he plays that good

with only one testicle,

maybe the whole team should get cancer.

Oh, killed it, boss!

I can't believe you said that!

Oh, come on, I'm just saying

what you're all thinking.

Oh, my God!

I feel so bad for him. Is he for real?

Yes, he's for real.

He was on "Fat Boy" this morning.

That's real all right... real bad!

Oh! You're real bad!

I think he's good.

Not!

You scared me.

You had me.

I think I hurt my back

on that one!

You probably like him secretly.

See? Right there.

# Do you like the things

that life is... #

Here comes his pitchy part.

Yeah.

# Where are you going to? #

Oh!

# ...what you're hoping for? #

# When you look behind you,

there's no open door #

# What are you hoping for? #

So, what about you, Frank?

Did you see that freak

on "American Superstarz" last night?

What?

Last night, the freak

on "American Superstarz"?

No.

I mean, yes,

I saw that guy accidentally.

I don't watch "American Superstarz."

You don't watch it, but you saw him.

Yeah, right.

What, are you too good for the show?

Yeah, I'm too good for a karaoke contest

that makes stars

out of people with no talent.

You can't say that, dude!

Some of those kids have real talent.

No, they don't.

They have good pitch.

They're relatively clean.

They're non-threatening

to little girls and old ladies.

They have the ability to stand in line

with a stadium full of other

desperate and confused people.

But I assure you, they are talent-free.

Yeah, well, I bet 32 million people

would disagree with you, bro,

'cause that's how many people called in

to vote last year on the finale.

I wish I was a super-genius inventor

and could come up with a way

to make a telephone

into an explosive device

that was triggered

by the "American Superstarz"

voting number.

The battery could explode

and leave a mark on the face

so I could know who to avoid talking to

before they even talked.

Yeah, I could look and say,

"Mm, no, you're not gonna be

saying anything

that's gonna add any value to my life."

Yeah, but it's funny.

I mean, you gotta admit that.

Steven Clark, that's funny sh*t, Frank.

It's not nice to laugh

at someone who's not all there.

It's the same type

of freak-show distraction

that comes along every time

a mighty empire starts collapsing.

"American Superstarz"

is the new Colosseum.

And I won't participate

in watching a show

where the weak are torn apart

every week for our entertainment.

I'm done, really.

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