Get Real

Synopsis: This tenderly romantic film tells the story of Steve, a young boy in a at secondary school, as he struggles with coming out and falling in love with John, the top athlete at school - who, amazingly, falls in love with him as well.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Simon Shore
Production: Paramount Pictures
  6 wins & 3 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
108 min

[Birds Twittering]

[Man Narrating] I came late to sex.

I was nearly ten.

That was when my friend Mark Watkins

told me how babies were made.


Are you sure?

Yeah. Honest.

Saw it in one of my daddy's videos.

[Man Narrating] For over a year after

that, I thought babies were made

when two women tied a man to a bed

and covered his willy with ice cream.

But it's

your favourite flavour.

Na na!

[Man Narrating] At secondary

school, we were given the facts.

[Documentary Narrator]

It's impossible for a male to mate--

unless the female is willing to

place herself correctly for him.

She then lies with her hind legs

spread out, her back arched inwards--

and the formerly aggressive

spines laid flat.

The male seizes her

by the scruff of the neck--

and mating takes place.

Mating lasts only a minute or two,

and the pair separates.

The male plays no further part

in bringing up the family.

Indeed, the two animals

will probably never meet again.

[Man Narrating]

So, that was sex.

Simple, really.

Just find someone to do it with,

find somewhere to do it,

and do it.

- [Brakes Screeching]

- [Horn Honking]

Thing is,

when you are my age,

it just isn't that simple.

And as for

falling in love

well, nothing

prepares you for that.

Anything interesting?

Oh. Not really.

Romeo and Juliet

by William Shakespeare.

It's really, you know,


He speaks very

highly of you.

- You doing your homework?

- Trying to.

You might find it easier with the book

turned the right way up.



- What do you do?

- I'm a writer.

Wow. A writer.

I've thought about,

you know, writing and stuff.

I'm not really sure. I-I've entered

a competition in the local paper.

You have to write about what it's like

growing up as we approach--

the new millennium.

- And, uh, what is it like--

- Oh, you know.

Could be better.


I guess it's hard

for any sixteen-year-old,

- but when you're... You know?

- I know.


- You're lovely.

- Well, you're not so bad yourself.

- Tart.

- Jealous.

Oh, Linda, he's stunning.

He's got eyes like Brad Pitt.

- Tart.

- He's witty and gorgeous.

- Dangerous.

- Lins, you know I'm always safe.

Safe-- What's safe about

picking up men in toilets--

You promised me you wouldn't

do it anymore.

I don't! I was just sitting outside

minding my own business, and--

Steve, babe,

don't bullshit me.

Some git starts blagging you outside the

public bog, he's only up for one thing.

Well, where else am I supposed to meet

other blokes like me--

And he's not some randy old git.

His name's Glen.

He's up for the same thing I am. We're

going to the woods again on Friday.

The woods-- Steve, you did it

in the woods-- You could have been--

- Queer-bashed by squirrels--

- He could have done anything to you.

Or you could have been arrested.

It's so risky.

Life's a risk, Lins.

Linda, Mum says if you don't come in for

Your tea now, she'll give it to the dog.

- Okay, okay.

- You haven't got a dog.

Well, we'll get one.

He's never gonna

let you drive it.

That's not what he said

he was doing.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- You're late again.

- Yeah. Just doing some research--

for the newspaper


Special study groups

proving useful then--

- Great.

- How's the article going--

Oh--uh--not bad.

Should meet the deadline.



That's very-- professional, isn't it--

Well, he won't meet any deadlines

sitting in the park.


Mrs. Gillingham said

she saw you sitting in the park.

Oh, yeah.

I, uh--

I had a bit of a block,

so I went there to unblock.

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Patrick Wilde

Patrick Wilde is an English playwright and screenwriter for both television and film. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Get Real" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 25 Jan. 2021. <>.

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