Gambit Page #6

But you don't have to Ms Puznowski me.

No, you can call me PJ. Or Jammies.

That's my rodeo handle.

Or Philomena, which is my real name.

Well, thank you, PJ.

And you may call me Lionel.

Let's hope doing business

on a first-name basis

will be conducive to plain speaking

and clear understanding.

Amen to that, Lionel.

Well, then, let's get to it.

I want 12 million

for this here picture.

That's 6,000 tons

if I've clone my math right.

And maybe you'd like to throw in

a nice four-by-four to haul it off in,

with an auto tranny, a CD deck

and graduated tint on the windshields.

Please and thank you.

Well, that's marvellous,

and tell me, PJ,

what makes you think

this painting is worth 12 million?

Well, Lionel, first off, it's oil.

Ain't it, Harry?

Indeed, the medium is oil,

and its provenance is promising.

But I would like to take it to your

country house to compare it to its mate.

- Is it being shipped in?

- Arrives Tuesday.

You can run it up to the house.

We'll take a look at it

at the gala on Wednesday.

- You've never been to the house.

- No, sir, no. I...

I have an annual party

up at the estate.

That sounds nice. That's another thing

I got going in my favour.

You've got this other Haystacks,

and the man ain't churning 'em out,

what with his being dead an' all.

So, looks like if you want the set,

I got you by the short and curlies.

I don't think it's a situation

of one party trying to subdue the other.

Nonsense. It's a pleasure doing business

with someone who knows her position

and is able to clearly set it out.

Unfortunately I have

another appointment at 11 o'clock.

But I believe this is worth pursuing.

Let's see if we mightn't find

some common ground.

Why, thank you. A gentleman.

Thank you.

I'm booked the rest of the day

and I have a business dinner.

But a thought occurs to me. Perhaps

you might be my dinner companion.

We'd have time to talk and you might

even help me with a business matter.

Thank you. That would be delightful.

Don't bother yourself, Deane.

I'm sure PJ and I can handle things.

To plain speaking.

- Yes, sir.

- Going down.

- Shall we say eight o'clock?

- Sure.

Pick you up at...?

- The Savoy.

- Why not?

As I drove the two of them

to the most expensive hotel in London,

I was rather taken by Ms Puznowski.

Her invigorating lack of decorum

would have enraptured my younger self.

Still, for the successful execution

of the plan,

Mr Deane would require a firm hand

to bring her into line.

I won't deny

I doubted the strength of his wrists.

I don't think

I need to remind you, do I,

of the consequences

of room service?

- Uh-huh.

- This place is absurdly expensive.

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