Funny People Page #4

I'm gonna go out there and warm

her up. I'll see you out there.

Kanye. Kanye!

No. T.I. T.I.

Lil Weezy. It's all about Common.

Eminem. MARK:
But do you guys know

who the greatest rapper of all time is?

(SINGING) William Shakespeare!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I know it's silly, but it's

fun. You know, people like it.

Yeah. You know?

It's just cool that

you're on TV. I mean...

I can't believe you

haven't seen this before.

Yeah, I can't believe it's gotten by me.

Is it on a kids channel? WB?

A teen channel or something?

MARK:
No. It's on NBC.

DAlSY:
Really?

Ira, this is Daisy. Oh!

Daisy, lra. Hi.

How are you? How's it going? Good.

Actually, I have a

cold, so I shouldn't...

Oh!

Air shake.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I've actually seen you do comedy

at the lmprov a couple times.

Yeah, you're really...

You're really, really funny.

Oh, thanks.

You know, lra just lost 20 pounds.

Oh, congratulations.

Yes, I did. All from my cock.

Um... So...

So, this episode right here

is actually a two-parter.

Great, so does that mean we're

gonna watch both parts right now?

Oh, shoot. Oh, God.

You need some help with that, lra?

No! No, it's...

It's okay, I got it. I got it. I got it.

Mmm.

(SLURPlNG)

I'm joking. I'll get a rag.

See you in nine days, lra!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

RANDY:
I went to a place recently

RANDY:
I went to a place recently

I'm convinced is the most

f***ed up, crazy place

I've ever been to. It's a little

place called Cold Stone Creamery.

Now, the thing at Cold Stone is...

I can't believe this

is what people like.

The sizes are "like it, "

"love it" and "gotta have it!"

What kind of crackhead

terminology is that?

"What size you want, man?"

"I don't know, man,

I just gotta have it!

"Put some ice cream in a

cup with some sprinkles!

"Put your dick in a Butterfinger

and f*** it for me, please!

"Put it in the cup! I need it! I'm

tweaking! I'm tweaking! I'm tweaking!

"I'm tweaking! I'm tweaking!

I'm tweaking! I'm tweaking!

"I'm tweaking! I'm

tweaking! I'm tweaking!"

(SlNGlNG) That's how it's done,

son! That's how it's done, son!

Killed it, man. Crowd was crazy.

Is it always that wild on a Wednesday?

No, they were... They

seem pretty good out there.

I'm really stepping up my game.

These b*tches gotta

start paying me for this.

Can't get no more free Randy. I

just f***ed that crowd in the ass.

Yeah.

Just awesome. Just f***ing bam!

Crowd, me, bam! Crowd,

me... My stand-up's my dick.

(EXCLAlMlNG)

You know? I'm gonna do the same thing.

Bullshit! Let's get some

M&M's and chips going.

Yellow! MAN:
lra!

Hey. Kevin Rooney didn't show up,

so you're gonna do 10 minutes after Leo.

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