Funny People

Synopsis: George is a very successful stand up comedian who learns that he has an untreatable blood disorder and is given less than a year to live. Ira is a struggling up-and-coming stand up comedian who works at a deli and has yet to figure out his onstage persona. One night, these two perform at the same club and George takes notice of Ira. George hires Ira to be his semi-personal assistant as well as his friend.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Judd Apatow
Production: Universal Pictures
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
60
Rotten Tomatoes:
68%
R
Year:
2009
146 min
$51,814,190
Website
162 Views

MAN:
Let's call American

Express. You lost your card,

(WOMAN LAUGHS) and you don't

know what the number of it is.

GEORGE:
That's a great one.

MAN:
Do the old lady.

GEORGE:
(IMITATING OLD

WOMAN) I lost my card.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

WOMAN:
Your... Your accent went

in and out on you sometimes.

GEORGE:
I went southern and then...

ON PHONE:
American Express.

I'm Danille, how may I help you?

GEORGE:
(IMITATING OLD WOMAN) I

certainly need some assistance.

I'm sorry to call you in such a frenzy,

but I'm very shook up. I got

my American Express card stolen.

WOMAN:
Okay, can I have

your last name, please?

GEORGE:
Yes.

What's your last name?

Right.

Okay, can you give me your name

so I can look up your account?

Yes. Helen.

What's your last name, please?

Easafawn.

What?

(WOMAN SNlCKERS)

Helen Easafawn.

E-A

S-A-fawn.

ON PHONE:
Jerry's Famous Deli.

This is Cindy. May I help you?

Hi. I have no legs. May

I speak to the manager?

(RECEIVER CLICKS)

(MAN LAUGHlNG)

Now, if I get a bill and

it's something, like, for...

(STUTTERlNG)

(ALL SNlCKER)

But two times in a row I eat

the damn roast beef and I'm...

I can't stop going to the bathroom!

MAN:
Well, I'm sorry, but

there's nothing I can do for you.

MAN:
Ma?

And my son thinks I'm crazy.

Ma, who you calling?

It's Jerry's. And don't

tell me not to call them.

Jesus Christ, get off the f*cking phone!

Don't talk to me that way!

Get off the f*cking phone!

What's going on?

MAN:
Same thing as the last time.

Did she... What'd she call you about?

The roast beef? Yes.

All right, she just

puked in the kitchen.

That's all right. I suggested

that she doesn't eat roast beef

if it doesn't agree with her.

(WOMAN SNlCKERlNG)

I... I appreciate your

suggestions, but I love roast beef.

It's delicious!

MAN:
Go clean up the mess!

(CRYlNG) I can't. Get off of me!

You son of a bitch!

(ALL SNlCKERlNG)

(DIAL TONE)

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

George?

GlRL:
Hi, Mr. Simmons.

Ladies.

George Simmons, man!

Can I get a picture?

Yeah, yeah. You got it ready? All

right, hit me, baby, all right.

Get a little tittie in there. Come on.

How are you? You're really funny.

Thank you. You're funnier.

(SPEAKS GlBBERlSH COMlCALLY)

Hello. Hi!

Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Hey, what's up?

GEORGE:
Hey. How are you?

Hey, handsome. Doctor.

How are you, kid?

How are you, baby?

(CLEARS THROAT)

The Lunestas are working, baby.

Those are smooth. No hangover.

Fall asleep, bam. F*cking what

was the deal with the Restorils?

Why did you give me those? You

trying to f*ck with me or something?

George, we got the results back from

the follow-up of your blood count

and it's not what we hoped for.

As I mentioned earlier,

the CBC was abnormal.

Your white blood cells were four

times the size that they should be.

And very low hemoglobin,

seven grams per deciliter.

I don't understand what

you're saying right now.

Can you speak how people speak?

You have a very serious

disease. It's called AML.

It's a form of leukemia and I can't

predict how this will play out,

but I feel you have a

rough road ahead of you.

That's George Simmons, right here.

George! George! George Simmons!

Hey, man! How, how you doing,

man? I'm a big fan of yours.

(lNAUDlBLE)

I'm sorry to say we're past the

point where traditional structures

Iike chemotherapy and radiation

would be effective at all.

DR. STEVENS:
And I think it's best for

us to pursue an experimental course.

CHUCK:
Here you go, ma'am. Your tamales.

Thanks for shopping

at Otto's. Yo, Chuck,

I'm going up at the Comedy

& Magic Club doing stand-up.

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Judd Apatow

Judd Apatow (; born December 6, 1967) is an American producer, writer, director, actor and stand-up comedian. He is the founder of Apatow Productions, through which he produced and developed the television series Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Girls, Love, and Crashing and directed the films The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005), Knocked Up (2007), Funny People (2009), This Is 40 (2012), and Trainwreck (2015). Apatow's work has won numerous awards including a Primetime Emmy Award, a Hollywood Comedy Award, and an AFI Award for Bridesmaids (2011). His films have also been nominated for Grammy Awards, PGA Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and Academy Awards.His producing credits include Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Superbad (2007), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), Pineapple Express (2008), Get Him to the Greek (2010), Bridesmaids (2011), The Five-Year Engagement (2012), Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013), Begin Again (2014), Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016), and The Big Sick (2017). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Funny People" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/funny_people_8700>.

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