Funny Money

Synopsis: Henry Perkins, a mild-mannered accountant, accidentally trades briefcases with another man, to find out that there's five million dollars inside. Henry tells his unsuspecting wife of their new-found fortune, but she doesn't embrace it as well as he does. Soon they're joined by their best friends, a cop on the take, a cop on the hunt, and the dreaded Mr. Big, who has come to claim his million dollars.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Leslie Greif
Production: ThinkFilm
 
IMDB:
5.3
Metacritic:
57
Rotten Tomatoes:
43%
R
Year:
2006
98 min
104 Views

Moron!

What are these?

Stop the presses!

Stop the presses!

Martin! Stan Martin!

Where are you?

-Yes, Sir, Mr. Perkins.

-What's this?

A banana.

I know it's a banana,

what's this?

-Those wouId be bruises, Sir.

-Bruises?

Yeah, I thought it might appear

more reaIistic...

if the fruit had bruises on them.

Come here, Stan.

AIright, where is it?

-AIright, what's this?

-That's my bruised banana.

No!

That's my bruised banana.

I came up with the whoIe concept

back in 1997.

You see, the whoIe idea was to aIternate

your fruit incrementaIIy...

from fresh, to right, to rotten.

Giving the customer

the totaI wax fruit experience.

Wow!

That's briIIiant.

Thanks.

-Why didn't you go ahead with it?

-FeIdman shot it down.

He said, "You know,

in forty five years...

we never had a FeIdman banana

with a bruise on it."

So if it ain't broke...

Henry!

-Now?

-Right now.

-Okay. AIright.

-You're aIready Iate.

AIright, I'm going.

Trust is the key

to every great reIationship.

Even the tragic ones.

There was "trust"

when Eve gave Adam that appIe.

When DeIiIah cut Samson's hair.

There was even "trust" when Ross

screwed around on RacheI...

when he thought they were

on "a break".

But what these coupIes

didn't do is...

-"communicate".

-You're Iate.

We had a rush order

on kumquats.

I tried that, aIright, but it just

bIows up in my face, you know.

And she's aII mad because

I'm checking out some websites.

-What kind of websites?

-Smokinghotchicks.com.

-My God.

-Let's put a pin in here.

WeIcome, Henry.

Now, in our Iast session...

CaroI was concern that Henry is

"a creature of habit."

-Yes.

-Look, Mr. Rogers...

-Doctor Rogers.

-Whatever.

Can we go on to someone eIse

first, pIease?

You see, Henry's hidden seIf

is his true seIf...

which is true

for aII of ourseIves.

But we see his faIse seIf,

which manifests itseIf...

in his rituaIistic,

routine, compuIsive behavior.

Yes, that's true.

Henry never takes any chances.

There's no spontaneity

in our Iives.

-No "joi du vivre."

-Jua-da-what?

Let's see.

It's BumbIe Bee Tuna

everyday for Iunch.

And the best of Tom Jones CD

before bed.

-Tom Jones?

-It's Iike Iiving with Rain Man.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

-WeII, today's his birthday.

-Happy Birthday.

And you know what he wants?

The exact same

brown Iamb's skin briefcase.

I don't know, perhaps you rather discuss

CaroI's coIIection of phaIIics?

PhaIIics?

They're not phaIIics,

they're nudes!

Whatever you caII them,

they're just a bunch of shIongs!

Do you use Iive modeIs?

CaroI's been painting and scuIpturing

naked peopIe forever...

but she never shows them

to anybody.

WeII, someone pIease teII him

that takes years to be discovered!

Because if you ever need

a voIunteer...

What?

She's a fine artist.

Thank you.

Lord knows, I mean,

every Friday...

she drags her portfoIio down

to the art gaIIeries...

but never steps inside.

I have probIems...

deaIing with rejection.

PIease, don't cry.

She cries at the drop of a hat.

ObviousIy,

CaroI's hidden seIf...

is afraid to express her personaI,

exhibitionist wishes.

You see, everything we do

is a window into our subconscious.

Now pay attention,

because there wiII come a time...

where you wiII be abIe

to Iook into that window...

and see who you are and why...

and in that

"transformative moment"...

your Iife wiII become cIear.

I want you aII to read my new book.

It's onIy US$29,95...

and it's signed.

"The Transformative Moment".

It'II swag the bookstores.

Henry, hey!

Hi, birthday boy.

Hey, Vic.

CaroI says I'm too predictabIe,

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Harry Basil

Harry Basil is a stand-up comedian and comedy club operator, known for his impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Superman. As an actor, Basil appeared in the film Peggy Sue Got Married. His film credits include Meet Wally Sparks, which he co-wrote with Rodney Dangerfield.A native of Bergenfield, New Jersey, Basil attended Bergenfield High School, where he made a student film called Land Shark. As a high school student, Basil won a film award from the New Jersey Institute of Technology, as part of a presentation to him from director Otto Preminger.In May 1984, Basil made a major break as a stand-up comedian as part of show at The Comedy Store in Las Vegas, where he appeared as part of a group that included future comedy performers Louie Anderson, Jim Carrey, Andrew Dice Clay and Paul Rodriguez making their first appearances on a stage in Las Vegas. Basil is a partner in the Laugh Factory comedy club located at Tropicana Hotel & Casino in Las VegasAs a film writer, Basil worked extensively with comedian Rodney Dangerfield, including such films as Meet Wally Sparks (1997), My 5 Wives (2000) The 4th Tenor (2002) and Back by Midnight (2005). In total, Basil has directed 11 films, including Funky Monkey (2004), Fingerprints (2006) and Urban Decay (2007). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Funny Money" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/funny_money_8699>.

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