Funny About Love Page #3

Synopsis: When Duffy Bergman, a New York cartoonist, meets Meg Lloyd, a gourmet chef, he discovers the love of his life and they marry -- yet love alone isn't enough to make them happy. Meg decides she wants to have a baby, a goal that initially makes Duffy frantic, but soon becomes his most important desire as well. When they are unable to have a baby, Meg begins concentrating on her career and the two slowly drift apart -- eventually separating. Later, when Duffy is speaking at a convention of the Delta Gamma sorority, he reveals that the Delta Gamma girls have always been his dream girls -- his Love Goddesses. There he meets the young and uninhibited Delta Gamma girl, Daphne Delillo. When Daphne moves to New York to work as a network sports reporter, their mutual attraction and Daphne's spontaneity spark an adventurous new relationship for Duffy. Now Duffy must decide which is more valuable to him -- the relationship he has given up, or the relationship he has always dreamed of having.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Leonard Nimoy
Production: Paramount Home Video
 
IMDB:
4.9
Rotten Tomatoes:
0%
PG-13
Year:
1990
101 min
192 Views


Oh, Duffy.

Oh, honey.

I've got so many kisses

and so many hugs.

I've got, like, a trillion of them.

There's plenty to go around.

Now we'll start on some tests.

Some tests? What kind of tests?

Multiple choice? Essays?

Do I need a number-two pencil?

Maybe I have a number-two pencil.

You have a wonderful,

giant redwood tree of a pencil.

- She said it.

- Let him do this.

The woman knows. What's happening?

It's an auditory monitor

of your scrotal activity.

Oh, I thought maybe you were lonely.

Would you like to listen to your testicles?

- Who wouldn't?

- I would.

I just plug the stethoscope

into these speakers.

I flick this switch...

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

I laughed at love

'cause I thought it was funny

- Just a joke, Mr Bergman.

- Is that what it was?

- How amusing!

- I'm trying to get you to relax.

Yes, I feel much better now.

Thank you, Doctor.

- You want my sperm in this cup?

- That's right, Mr Bergman.

- Good luck.

- We'll wait outside.

Wait a minute!

You make this sound easy.

I've never done this before.

- Come, come, Mr Bergman.

- You want me to do it twice?

We'll be here all day.

I deal in quality, not quantity.

- What do you want, a quart?

- Excuse us.

- Duff...

- It's not so easy.

Come here, come here.

I think maybe we should try to work

on this together. What do you say?

Is this business or pleasure?

Intense heat can kill

the reproductive quality in sperm.

- Have you been in a hot tub?

- At my health club. How do you know?

All your sperm

are wearing terry-cloth robes.

- There he goes again.

- Very funny.

All we need to do is lower

the temperature of your sperm.

- This should do the trick.

- What the heck...?

- What's this little pocket for?

- Ice.

- You're doing fine.

- I look silly.

- Here, climb on.

- No, go away!

Come here, come here. Here.

I really think this is the one,

the love of my life.

I'm so delighted, Hugo.

You don't know her last name?

She is vague about personal details,

but I think this is normal

in the Witness Protection Program.

Sorry I'm so late. I had to wait

for the boss to approve my apple crisp.

- How did you do?

- I got a gold star.

Why did I ask?

It's excellent!

You are so good in the kitchen.

- Thanks.

- The bedroom, I don't know.

- Ma!

- Adele!

Did I offend

the sensitive Bergman men?

Hold your tongue once in a while.

It's only in your cartoons that people

may speak without being censored.

No one's censoring you.

"Hold your tongue!" Did anyone hear

that? How about Mr Lonely Hearts?

- I was chewing.

- We're trying, OK?

- Try a little harder.

- Is it a question of velocity?

- Shut up about babies!

- Pardon me for wanting a grandchild!

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Bob Greene

Robert Bernard Greene Jr. (born March 10, 1947) is an American journalist and author. He worked for 24 years for the Chicago Tribune newspaper, where he was a columnist. Greene has written books on subjects including Michael Jordan, Alice Cooper, and U.S. presidents. His book Hang Time: Days and Dreams with Michael Jordan became a bestseller. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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