Fun Mom Dinner Page #3

- Yeah.

- And great for us, Em.

We get to hang like the old times,

just the girls.

- Speaking of just the girls,

a couple of the moms from school

asked me out for a fun mom dinner.

- That sounds awful.

- Hey, it's a fun mom dinner.

How can it not be, you know, fun?

- Shut the f*** up, hon.

Which ones were they?

- One of them was named Jamie.

- I know her. I mean,

I don't "know" know her.

I follow her on Instagram.

She's a bit of an over-sharer.

- Seriously, Andrew? Jesus, I mean,

some wives would be pissed about this.

I think I'm just embarrassed for you. Here.

- Whoa.

- #sharedcustody?

# metime?

F***, if it's me time,

why feel the need to share it with us?

Who's the other mom?

- Melanie.

- Okay, that woman is bat-sh*t crazy.

I think she runs a fight club

in the Helping Hand yard.

- No, they're trying to be nice.

- You have to get out of it.

Just say Wyatt's sick or something.

- No, don't listen to her, Em.

And you should go too, babe.

- Honey, I think this is great.

You should make more friends,

you should, you know, widen your circle.

- Widen your circle?

- That's super sexual.

- Yeah, maybe it is sexual. So what?

- You're just gonna widen it,

take a look around.

- Oh! Speaking...

of sexual innuendo...

look what I found in the move.

- What is it?

- Oh, my God.

It's our sex questionnaire

from sophomore year.

- We answered every

question with Jake Ryan.

Yes! And it marked the birth

of the I Love Jake Club.

- The I love who?

- Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles.

That was our movie.

Jake Ryan is like the perfect guy.

I've never heard

about any of this.

There were two presidents

and two members.

- You guys started a club

and there's only two people in it?

That's adorable and sad. Let me see this.

- Yeah, you two can't be in the club.

- What?!

- HEY-

- HEY-

- All yours.

You wanna watch a little John Oliver?

- No.

Oh, hey, would you mind taking Amelia

to school tomorrow so I can go work out?

- No... f***ing... way.

- What?

" Mommy!

- Hey, shhh, shhh, shhh...

Mommy's here.

Don't forget to go pee-pee.

Remember last time?

- Did you really just tell me to go pee-pee?

- I did.

- 'Cause I don't have to. I came prepared.

- Oh!

- Sam's pull-up is tight as f***!

- Oh, that is so wrong.

- You push out two more kids

and see if you don't need one.

Hey, what's going on with you?

Tom stuff again?

- No.

Yes.

- You seemed happy last night.

Please tell me you went home and

had drunk sex. Oh, please, hardly.

Tom has zero interest in sex. Forget sex.

I haven't had a hug in months.

- Oh.

- The last hug I got, I think,

was from Teacher Sherry.

Kind of felt a little something.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes