Friends with Kids Page #3

a 45-minute production

when we're having guests over? Jesus!

- I was reading an article...

- Maybe you could shut the door.

It's f***ing toxic in here.

I was airing it out!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry!

- Oh, sweetie, no. Please.

- I got it, it's fine.

Hon, did we get Jase a gift?

Jase, we forgot.

We're gonna get it this weekend, sorry!

- Oh, sh*t, we're gonna get something.

- It's fine.

- That's Ben and Miss.

- Yeah, we haven't seen them.

Ben and Missy are here.

- You look good.

- Thanks, you, too.

- I mean, you're... Did you...

- I lost weight.

- It's f***ing sweet of you to even notice.

- You did. You look good.

- Really?

- Alex!

Could you get the f***ing door?

What are you, deaf?

Did the... Did the bell ring?

Are you f***ing kidding me today?

You want me to get it?

I'll get it, I'm doing everything else.

- I might have to murder him.

- Do you want me to put the sauce on?

- Hey, man.

- Hey! Oh...

Yep. All day.

I apologize for the 50 times

he rang the doorbell.

- Hey.

- Hey, how we doing?

- Hey, Troy.

- Hello.

- Hey. Hi, guys.

- Hi.

- Happy birthday.

- Thanks.

Happy birthday.

I'm sorry. I feel like an a**hole,

apparently I forgot to pick up your gift.

Which was already wrapped and paid for

and two blocks from his office...

- I'll get it to you tomorrow.

...still couldn't find the time to pick it up.

It's a tie. You can return it.

It's okay, but thanks.

Wait, so who was this guy again?

Oh, my God,

he was a set-up through my boss.

I got there, he was 61.

I'm sorry, excuse me.

Can I put him in with Katie? Do you mind?

Oh, yeah, the monitor's right there.

Go ahead.

He's fine.

- My God, he's fine. He'll be fine.

- I'll put him in there. He'll fall asleep.

He's hungry.

That's his hungry cry. Just go feed him.

Why don't you feed him?

I brought the bottle,

why don't you feed him for once?

Fine, I'll feed him!

It's not like it's that big a deal.

She acts like I raped her to have a kid.

So, Jase, how's work?

Oh, fine.

- We're doing the Bud Super Bowl spots.

- Excuse me.

- Pretty cool.

- That is cool.

And that's my cue.

My turn, clearly...

- You need help, sweetie?

- No, no, I'm all right.

How's Callie?

Oh, we... We broke up.

- No...

- Like, four months ago.

Oh...

- Can we get another?

- Thank you.

- Jesus Christ.

- That was unbelievable.

- Seriously, though...

- God!

We don't know those people.

Those people are mean, and angry, and...

Mean.

- When did that happen?

- I don't know.

I don't know, when they had kids?

- Come on, that doesn't make you mean.

- Maybe it does.

Can we get a couple more?

No, come on, it can't be that.

It can't be just that.

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