Friends With Benefits Page #5

- We're here.

Oh, my God, it's 1988.

All right, smartass, give it five seconds.

- What is this?

- It's a flash mob.

- Like on Oprah!

- Exactly.

Should we get out of the way?

No, no. Enjoy it. Take it all in.

- It's pretty damn cool.

- Right?

It's kind of rad.

Do these people get paid for this?

No. No. They kind of just do it for fun.

It's nice to feel

like you're a part of something.

New York can be a little

bit lonely at times.

And you're trying to sell me on it.

Every place can be a bit lonely sometimes.

- Be careful!

- Oh, my God.

- Come down.

- Okay.

- Sh*t. Get back down.

- Okay.

- I'm in.

- What?

- You sold me.

- Really?

- I'll take the job.

- Oh, my God!

- What, are you surprised?

- No! No. Oh, you are gonna crush it!

Amazing.

- You can all go home now! Thank you!

- Very funny.

Come on.

Congratulations, sell-out!

Thank you, thank you.

All I'm saying is,

it wasn't so much the pilot's skill

that landed that plane on the river

as much as the mechanics of the aircraft.

Are you saying

that Captain Sully wasn't a hero?

No, no.

There were just other factors.

Are you not an American?

Hey, fuckface, you want to get your sh*t

out of my car or what?

I... Yeah.

Welcome to New York. Go and f*** a dick.

F***.

So, all I ask is that you give me

a little bit of time to gain your trust.

I know that I'm new at this, but what I lack

in experience I make up for in cliches.

So, my door is always open.

But seriously, my door is always open.

My first order of business, lighter doors.

- Okay. Thanks, guys.

- Welcome, Dylan.

Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger, sports editor.

Tommy, I've read your articles.

Love your writing.

Just trying to keep it realsies.

Listen, I'd love to take you out one night

and troll for cock.

- What?

- You got some pretty boys out there in LA,

but the quality in this town is ridiculous.

We can tear this sh*t up.

I'm not gay, Tommy.

Really? I just assumed,

art director and, you know...

Hey. No skin, more pipe for me.

By the way,

doing a piece on racism in hockey.

I'm thinking Helvetica

but I could be persuaded to Courier New.

But what the f*** do I know?

I'm just the sports editor.

- You sure you're not gay?

- Yep.

- I'm sure.

- Okay.

All right.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I'd knock, but you don't have a door.

- I don't.

- No.

Hey, check this out.

Dunkin-My- Tits-Hynes. Com.

- Yeah, it really does exist.

- I told you, but not that. This.

Awesome.

But it'd be even more awesome

if this happened.

Wait for it.

Nice!

I got in touch with a guy

who puts flash mobs together.

We're thinking about using them

for guerrilla advertising.

Taking something so pure

and commercializing it?

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