Friday After Next Page #4

---

Come here! Look!

- That's him!

- Let's get that mother!

Get him! Kick him!

- Craig! Day-Day!

- Uncle Willie!

What the hell you doing to me?

What's happening?

Man, I didn't know!

Pop, I thought

you were somebody else!

Willie, what are you doing

to them boys back there?

Nothing! I'm counting

money at the register.

These fools

knock the hell out of me...

We made a mistake. Day-Day

ran in and jumped on Daddy!

He's lying!

Why you boys

beating up on Santa Claus?

He broke in our house

and stole our presents.

- And Craig let him do it!

- Why, Craig?

- Why blame me?

- 'Cause you did!

I tried to fight him, and Day-Day...

I was screaming,

he wouldn't even help.

What did you do, Day-Day?

Nothing!

He stayed asleep the whole time.

Can I tell my story?

I ain't done sh*t, but he could have

did something about it!

What did he look like?

Like Bobby Brown

in a goddamned Santa Claus suit!

I heard about him.

They call him

the ''Santa Clause Crook.''

He robbed a lady

in the parking lot last week.

He called her

a ''ho ho ho'' and kept running.

Who the f*** are you?

I'm Cookie, the new waitress,

and, um...

Elroy's new girlfriend.

You got another one?

You're gonna catch something!

You should have kept

Sugar's nasty ass. What happened?

I kicked her country ass

to the curb.

Hooked up with her little sister.

That's how we players roll!

Elroy, read my lips--

you ain't no player!

You don't know nothing

about being a player.

Betty done had your ass

p*ssy-whipped for about 30 years!

Nobody got me p*ssy-whipped.

l...whips...p*ssy!

You boys look really good

with your rent-a-cop outfits on.

Yes, very attractive.

This is Top Flight Security.

We ain't no rent-a-cops.

Daddy, how I look?

- Like a damn snitch!

- Man, that's cold!

Look like you're ready

to tell on somebody right now!

Where's your flashlight at?

You're supposed to have one.

You've got to shine some damn body!

We're supposed to get handcuffs,

flashlights, taser guns--

Two German shepherds.

Y'all must not know what happened

to the last security guards.

Mama's in the kitchen with the sauce.

Aw, sh*t! The sauce! Move, girl!

What happened

to the other two sec--

Wait a minute!

Go say hello to your grandmother.

Come on, let's go. Move your big ass!

What happened with

the last two security guards?

- Wake up, Mama.

- What the hell you want?

You burned the sauce again.

Give me the spoon.

Nobody's gonna hit you.

You've lost your mind

since Willie slapped you.

Damn, what happened to her?

You should never have let her

into the commercial, anyway.

Got no business working.

You're the one

gave her a concussion, Willie.

- You were supposed to be acting.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes