Fresh Meat Page #3

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The fall of the tahiwalker.

What?

The fall of the tahiwalker.

And do you where the beating heart

of this new culture lies, my friend?

No.

Martial arts.

Oh, that's great! That's f***ing great!

Quite possibly the dumbest sh*t I've ever

seen. Who the hell do you think you are?

My name is Crane. Dr. Hemi Crane, professor

of religious studies at Central University.

That says Associate Professor.

Some people are doing their best to ensure

us Maori don't move up the academic ranks.

You're funny, Doc.

Hands full. Sorry.

I've got other skills.

Well, then, you better show me your CV.

You seem more interested

in those than I am.

- Have a line.

- I'm OK.

Have a line.

- Have you tried my sausage rolls?

- F***in' A.

Dad had his sixtieth

earlier this year and Mom

ordered all to meat

dishes from your site.

I've just got one question.

It's about pettis...

Ask away.

It's such a delicate flavor.

No quite pork, but close.

I never tasted anything like them.

Thin, but tender.

It almost turns to jelly

before melting in your mouth.

Got the little bastard.

Jesus! What the f*** is that?

- It's a prosthetic.

- Well, looks like a hand to me.

A fake hand. A prop.

- Ah, this is the sh*t!

- You can say that again.

- Solomon Ihaia Smith.

- Ihaia.

Solomon Ihaia Smith was

a 19-century prophet.

His father was Irish

Catholic, his mother Maori.

He and his congregation committed

mass suicide by swallowing poison.

- But his word lives on.

- Boom, what a badass motherf***er!

And get this. To his most loyal followers,

he promised the gift of immortality.

Oh!

Oh!

No!

What? Why did you do that? I'm

your biggest fan, Margaret.

Put the gun down.

- No!

- What the f***!

You, too. Hey, you wanna tell

the whole neighborhood we're here?

Scream was loud enough to wake the dead.

- What happened?

- She came on to me.

And just bit me when I was pushing her off.

She made you put on her

panties, didn't she, babe?

That's right.

- And her bra?

- That's right!

You're a sick little girl.

- But I didn't...

- ...dangerous.

Girls like you should be locked up.

Throw him his clothes.

You better go see if Johnny's got

something in his magic first-aid kit.

Watch her. She's pretty frisky.

Don't look too immortal now, bro.

You're gonna let him get away with that?

What?

You're fine about your boyfriend

molesting school girls?

And by the way, he couldn't even get

a hard-on until he put on my undies.

- But, you already know the prick.

- You need to shut your face, kid.

Okay.

Her name's Hine Whae Ao.

- What's her special power?

- I haven't decided yet.

Everyone's got a special property.

Had me going there for a bit, Doc.

Almost believed you were immortal.

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