Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel Page #3

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- What is?

Meeting famous people from history.

Me?

I read that you would be in here

on this day, you know.

I just couldn't pass up a chance

of meeting Ray the Great.

It's what she said.

- "Ray the Great"!

- Shut up.

So, what other famous people,

like me, have you met?

Have you met Einstein or Elvis?

You know what you should do?

You should go back and kill Hitler.

- That's a classic.

- That's also a time crime.

- You're no fun.

- Yeah. We call it editing.

It's trying to erase

people from history.

- Like Hitler.

- Yeah, like Hitler.

But, a lot of the time,

it's more of a personal taste thing.

Like, Paris Hilton?

Who?

Brilliant.

Well, um, yeah,

they try to erase them from history

just because they don't like them or don't

like their songs or their films or whatever.

They are totally psychotic, Ray.

There's even one bunch of Editors who try to

kill artists immediately after their greatest works.

I don't get it.

Well, it's to avoid a decline in quality.

It would be like killing, say...

Kevin Costner right after

Dances With Wolves.

- You could do Morrissey.

- After The Smiths?

No. Just generally.

- George Lucas after Jedi?

- Ooh! Empire, surely.

Mm-mm. You'd miss the Ewok battle.

Who cares?

I care.

Let's see how good

your research really is.

What is... the grandfather paradox?

I...

I've got to be honest with you, Ray,

I didn't exactly finish the manual.

It was like a brick.

I'm more of a quick-start pamphlet kinda girl.

Yes. Sure.

I mean, who's got the time, you know?

- It's only history we're messing with.

- I'm not totally stupid.

I can safely talk to you because everyone

knows you're obsessed with time travel.

So?

So, no one will believe you

when you tell them about this.

Very clever, Ray.

- Double bluff. I like it.

- Still don't believe you.

What about Chaos Theory?

You do know about Chaos Theory?

Oh! Yes, of course.

Chaos Theory is the idea

that all actions have consequences...

when you take that... quantum leap...

OK, erm, bit of advice.

When you are talking about this stuff,

speak with a bit more confidence about it.

OK, well, I will.

I'll bear that in mind, thank you.

Chaos Theory is the idea that

tiny things can have huge consequences.

Because you delayed

me going through,

all the things I was going to do

have been delayed subsequently.

That has a knock-on effect,

which can totally change the future.

So, so wait, that means you're

going to drink your pint a bit later

which means you're going to go

to the bathroom a little bit later.

My God, Ray, you're right.

That's terrible, we're all doomed!

Do you have any idea how rare it is

to find a girl who's into science fiction

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