Finding Joy Page #3

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What's weird about joy?

Oh, so do you also

know the names

Of the crabby old couple next

door, Marshall? Yes, I do.

I'm very friendly with all of our neighbors.

I'll have you...

Zip! Please...

zip it.

This was the last decent

Pair of pants that I had.

Give me yours.

Give me your pants.

I'm at least two sizes

bigger than you.

Try four.

Hi.

You're impressively on time.

Have fun on your

sort of romantic rendezvous.

( CLEARS THROAT )

Uh... oh.

Just a, uh, a little nothing.

Oh, thank you.

Is this a book?

I love books.

Ready?

So, did you think of

an alternative word?

Uh...

I- It would be my

distinct pleasure

To accompany you

this afternoon.

It's bordering on bland, but

marginally better than "nice."

So, I-I wrote the book.

Which book?

Right now. Wha...? You wroth at?

Yes.

Oh, my god!

I hope it's good.

I hope you're good

with condoms too.

I read this article that stds

Are rampant

among senior citizens.

They're getting it on

more than we are.

What am I doing wrong?

( LIGHT CHUCKLE )

I used to work at the condom

factory on Johnson street,

And I got tons of free samples,

So I figured I would

put them to good use.

It's really on Johnson street?

So, you're all gonna

remember to use these

Next time you have sex, right?

Or you could die!

I'm 81 years old, joy.

What's your point?

Every second counts, Doris.

( LAUGHTER )

I've brought a friend

along today.

This is Kyle.

And Kyle...

is going to demonstrate

how to put one on.

WOMAN:
Ooh.

Anyone who wants

a refresher can stay.

( AUDIENCE TITTERING;

KYLE CLEARING THROAT )

You should get that looked at.

It might be serious.

I don't... I don't wanna...

I don't wanna do this.

Open the bag.

Open the bag.

( WOMEN OOHING AND TITTERING )

I was petrified

you hadn't brought props.

I don't mind if you don't use a cucumber.

Do you ladies?

ALL:
No!

He's wearing ladies' pants.

Yes, they are.

Okay, um, well, we'll just...

( CAT MEOWS )

WOMAN:
Caesar.

KYLE:
Okay, so, um...

Caesar!

Uh... Cae...

who's... Who's Caesar?

He's, uh, he's just this cat.

Local resident.

Um, I'll be right back.

Uh...

( CAT MEOWS )

( MAN SNORING )

Did he pee?

( CAT MEOWS ) Oh, dear.

And, uh,

you make sure that, uh...

this part here is up,

Like a...

like a little hat,

And then, uh, you put it there.

Careful not to cut it

with your nail,

But you just pinch like this.

Sort of... This is

important, that part there.

And then you just roll it

down to the, um...

the... The, uh...

The... The base,

Roll it down to the base.

Is, uh...

is everything okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

It's no biggie.

Do you mind a pit stop

on the way home?

As long as it doesn't

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