Finding Joy

---

( CLEARS THROAT )

"The sneaky thing called death

swooped in that year,

"Ambushing my mostly

unremarkable family,

Freezing us like statues

in a strong wind."

"In most cases,

defrosting can take

"An inordinately long

period of time,

If it happens at all..."

I'm... I'm sure that you

lovely ladies

Have read this many times,

So why don't we just

skip right ahead

To the Q&A session?

Yes.

Is this the spot

for the number 24 bus?

Uh...

( SIGHS )

Mike!

What?

The code is not cooperating,

and my belongings

Seem to have walked

themselves to the street.

Your mooching days

are over, Kyle.

I apologized.

It was a hideous rug

to begin with.

My mother crocheted that rug.

Where am I supposed

to finish my book?

All right.

Tony...

it's Kyle.

Kyle Livingston.

Uh, I-Listen,

I need a place

To lay my laptop

for a few nights,

And I was wondering if you...

I'd absolutely do this for you.

Are you kidding?

Tony? Tony?

Gabe! Hi!

I was wondering if I might

be able to couch-Crash...

your grandmother came on to me.

It's not my fault that

she finds me very attractive.

- So, can I stay?

- Pete!

- Amanda!

- Mr. Dowling!

Why?

Go home.

Why didn't I think of that.

Call me Ishmael.

Call me Kyle.

It was the best of times,

it was the worst of...

dude, you can't plant your

ass in the floor like that.

Yeah, well, this is

where my mailbox is.

You're basically standing in

my living room right now.

I'm... ( MUTTERING )

Just... first sentence.

First sentence.

( INDISTINCT COMMENT )

( PRIMAL SCREAM )

( SNORING )

Wait! Hey!

Hey, uh...

excuse me.

( REVVING ENGINE )

( SPEED DIALING )

( TELEPHONE RINGS )

Hi, Marshall.

No, I'm not dead,

But that's hilarious,

by the way.

Uh, listen...

I'm, uh, coming home

To, uh, finish

another book. Ahem.

In only have ten more days,

so I really need my room.

Uh... tell dad

to holster his shotgun.

( LIGHT CHUCKLE )

No, I know he doesn't

actually own a gun.

It's a metaphor for gun...

Never mind. Never mind.

Okay. Okay, bye.

( SIGHS )

( AUDIBLY STRUGGLING )

( SIGHS )

All right, honey,

I'll see you later!

Whoa!

Aah! Hell's bell bottoms!

Oh, Kyle, baby, I been waitin'

to meet you for years!

Come over here.

I'm Gloria.

I'm your dad's big squeeze.

You can touch these puppies.

I just had them done.

Are they gorgeous? Wow.

Oh, wow. That's um...

Gloria!

Yeah?

He's my...

it's weird.

And not in a good way.

Go on, go to work.

All right, I'm off to work.

You boys, you play nice now.

# anchors away, my boys #

# anchors away

( GLORIA HUMMING )

Hey.

( SNIFFS )

I see you, um,

went over to the...

canine side.

Thought you were

a cat lover for life.

I can't stand dogs.

You gotta walk 'em.

They're giving away

free trips to Hawaii

If you get enough

of these labels,

And Gloria got it in her mind

That we're gonna

go there one day.

Looks like you've already been,

With that winning

George Hamil-Tan.

I'm in this, uh, clinical trial

For this E. D...

Erectile dysfunction...

Drug, and one of

the side effects is, uh...

Is the tan. It's a bonus.

Yay for the side effects.

Hi, mom.

You look a little dusty.

I mean the urn.

( SIGHS )

( PLAYFUL ROAR )

Ohh! Ohh!

What is going on?

Please stop. Please stop.

Marshall. Marshall.

( LAUGHING )

My room?

Technically,

it's still your room.

Dad... expanded it.

Oh.

( WATER FLOWS )

It's awesome, right?

For Vegas.

Where is my desk?

Where is my chair?

I spent thousands of hours

molding that chair

With my butt!

Your stupid chair's

downstairs in the den.

He sold your desk, though.

You better get your, uh,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes