Fifty Pills Page #2

you are goin to lose that scholarship,

you are going to lose your financial

aid, and I will personally make sure

that you never go to another

university for the rest of your life.

From the second day of my college

existence, I had one strike against me.

So, now all we had to do was be good.

And we were good. Good at

not getting caught again.

Believe it or not, I was

actually looking forward

to Thanksgiving break

with my parents.

Clean sheets, toilet

paper, a refrigerator.

With food in it.

Doreen, you have outdone yourself

with that stuffing. Fantastic.

Son, your mother and I have

something wed like to tell you.

Yeah. No need to be

alarmed

whats the best way to put this?

I don't know, the best way to put it is

that were going through a few changes.

Yeah, were, uh

- You're not pregnant, are you?

No.

No, no. I should be so lucky, huh?

- What the hell does that mean?

Harold, its been four months, and

if it werent for Mr. Red upstairs,

Id probably have lost my mind.

Damn, Mom, thatsdisgusting! Were

eating. - Don't say damn to your mother.

And you don't have to bring up our

intimate times in front of the boy.

Well, honey, a little companionship

in that department would be very nice.

I can't believe this.

- Im gonna go upstairs.

I'm allergic to the Viagra.

- What?

Yeah, uh, it makes me sweat,

and gives me wet shits.

Oh, I am sorry. I mental images are.

Honey, that was the kielbasa.

- You sit down. Its not the kielbasa.

We had to sent that carpet to

the cleaners. It cost a fortune.

Sit. Talk.

Son, I have something very

important I wanna tell you.

Don't you wanna hear it?

- Fine.

Son, your fathers been laid off.

They're replacing me with

a damned laptop computer.

Windows 98, or some foul thing.

I'm sorry, Dad. Thats

- thats really screwed up.

No, its f***ed up, is what it is.

Lets, you know, call a spade a spade.

I:

- I have to get that.

What was with you bringing up

our sex life in front of him?

Hello?

- Mr. Darren.

How did I know it would be you?

#GRACIE# - Gracie was at the party

we threw that first night.

For some reason, she was talking to me.

Jesus Christ. Oh my God.

It wasnt longer than the whiteboard.

Oh, I don't know, I didnt see.

I didnt mean to.

All right, heres to new

beginnings, and all that sh*t.

I need a refill, though.

Well, maybe next time.

Definitely.

That Gracie chick is hot,

man. You should tap it.

Dude, she just broke up with

her boyfriend like two days ago.

I don't really think she was ready

to jump into another relationship.

Whos talking about a relationship? I'm

just saying shes got the hot ass, is all.

All right. I'm goin to bed.

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