FDR: American Badass! Page #4

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for President.

Thank you, mm-hmm.

I hope it mentions something

about my cock still working.

No.

Well, sh*t, call them up!

I want a press release

first thing in the morning.

Before we do that--

But--

let's leak them a picture too.

Before we do that, I have

something to discuss with you.

I don't think there's anything

more important than this.

It's about the dead werewolf.

Stuff it-- hang it

over the mantle.

Put it in the kids' room.

This is serious, Frank.

The doctors ran some tests

and they think

the werewolf might have come

from Germany.

What?

Yeah.

They found some markings

on it

and some literature

next to the body.

German...

why?

I don't know.

But don't you think it's odd

that the last attack

was on Abraham Lincoln

before he ran for President?

The only thing I find odd

is that there's no--

I'm serious, Frank.

I'm serious too, Lou,

I am serious!

All right, what should we do?

Should we call up the FBI

and have them--

No, no, no, I don't want Hoover

to be using

any bullshit German propaganda

against you in the election.

We'll just

get you elected first,

then we'll let them have

a look at the wolf.

In the meantime, I'll beef up

security on the campaign trail.

That's a good idea,

thank you, Lou.

Just keep the kids

out of the meat freezer

for a couple of months

Oh, Lou,

Yeah.

Cancel my soccer camp tomorrow.

I don't think

I'm going to be any good.

Oh, f*** you.

Pleasure.

Yes.

Here we go, there we go.

Excuse me, would you sign

my newspaper?

And does it work?

Damn straight-- the answer

to both those questions.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Lou.

Hey.

So, he reads the sign,

he gets all pissed off,

throws down his pickax

and helmet and starts to leave.

Well, she-- she runs

out of the brothel naked

and says, "No, we don't serve

minors.

You, sir, look well over 18."

[GROANS]

And we go.

Oh, I'm exhausted

and I can't even stand up.

God bless you guys.

Keep laughing, boys.

You think God blessed Tommy?

Hold on, fellows.

Who's Tommy?

Tommy-- Tommy used to work

on the docks.

Unions been on strike,

down on his luck.

It's tough.

So tough.

What happened to him?

Got so depressed,

he tried to off himself.

And who's taking care of him?

His wife, Gina.

Gina works the diner all day.

Working for--

Come over here,

come over here!

Sit on Uncle Frankie's lap.

Okay, sh-hhh.

Your Uncle Delano's going to fix

this sh*t.

You guys are the salt

of the earth.

The real people who make

this country run.

And I am not going to leave you

to live on a prayer!

[CHEERS]

Beautiful melons, mam.

They sure are ripe

for the picking.

I meant your tits.

So did I.

What in the hell is going on

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