Father of Invention Page #3

the George Foreman Grill...

I mean, they're amazing.

Donna, he didn't invent those.

Also I'm not really what you call

an inventor, so to speak.

It's more... the term is

"fabricator."

You mean liar?

Actually, according to Webster,

"liar" is the fourth definition

of "fabricator."

I can't believe you remember that.

Well, what's the first?

Well, the first definition is

"someone who creates

by combining existing,

very often diverse standardized parts

and brings them together."

That's what I do.

Keep telling yourself

that bullshit, Bob.

Thanks for breakfast.

And I'd love to stay here

and have this pleasant chat,

but the world's most famous

infomercial douche

doesn't want to be late

for his first day on the job.

- You have a job?

- Yeah, Family Mart.

What do they have you doing? Mopping

the floors or cleaning the toilets?

Phoebe.

Robert Axle, as I live and breathe.

Uh, Troy.

Troy Coangelo.

Hey, you're 19 minutes late,

but don't sweat it, man.

I can rig the time stamp

on the punch-in clock

to make sure you get credit

for a full shift.

Great. Thanks.

Oh, and here is a pen and a pad

in case you get

one of your great ideas.

Oh, and we got guys

in the break room

to get you a foot massage, latte...

whatever you need.

I thought this was

a felon reform program.

- You know what "felon reform" means?

- Apparently not.

It means you represent

a monumental risk to my company.

And it also means

if you show up late,

forget to shave or so much

as breathe at the wrong time,

I have full authority

to terminate your employment,

no warning, no cause,

no pink slip,

just sayonara, kemosabe.

Wait, I'm confused.

Am I fired?

No, but you're sure as hell

not starting today.

So when am I starting?

Whenever you can show up on time.

Presumably tomorrow.

Whoa, what are you doing?

Hi honey.

Well, you know what?

I saw this leaning up against the wall

and I decided to hang it up for you.

Well, did it ever occur to you

that I didn't want it hung?

No, I didn't think about that fact.

You know what?

I can take it down just as easily.

Oh my God, you got fired,

didn't you?

Fired? Good Lord, no.

As a matter of fact,

this is the first day

that I feel I've done an honest

day's work in a long long time.

In fact, I still had enough time

to come home, reconfigure the fish tank

and look at this...

something I learned in prison...

I taught one of these guys

how to shoot a basket. Which one is he?

Where is my mail?

Oh, well, I made you a terrific new

mail recycling station right over there.

Now you can open your mail,

drop in the bits you don't want

right into that basket without having

to walk all the way to the kitchen.

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