
Father of Invention
All things are intrinsically connected,
no matter how different
they may appear.
Hi. You know me... Robert Axle.
As a fabricator, I bring existing,
often very different items together,
maximizing their atomic
and molecular potential,
making ordinary inventions
infinitely more prolific.
Thank you very much.
We've got a big show today.
I've got lots of new items
to tell you about.
In fact, you all remember
the Robert Axle Light-O-Saurus.
Part humidifier, part night light,
the Light-O-Saurus connects
a child's need to feel safe at night
with a parent's need
to keep them healthy.
the Robert Axle Pepper-Cam,
enabling us to pepper-spray
our assailants
and photograph them
at the same time.
And now introducing
my most inspired fabrication to date...
the Robert Axle Ab Clicker.
You can channel-surf,
watch your favorite programs,
adjust the volume...
all at the same time
that you are getting
that six-pack of abs.
You call the number right below
on the screen here...
You'll get 10% off on the Robert Axle
revolutionary Ab Clicker!
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
# Call me #
# Irresponsible #
# Call me unreliable #
# Throw in #
# Undependable too #
# Do my foolish alibis... #
# Bore you? #
# Well, I'm not too clever... #
# I just adore you. #
There's your change.
# Call me irresponsible #
# Yes, I'm unreliable #
# But it's undeniably true. #
Hey, Robert Axle!
I see you!
Stupid Ab Clicker piece of crap!
Robert Axle!
"Depraved indifference
to human life."
What the hell
does that even mean?
It means that people
are too lazy to do sit-ups
in places
they shouldn't have stuck
their fingers.
All right.
The good news there, Bob...
I got you a job.
Family Mart...
the fourth-largest discount
consumer retailer in the nation.
is Troy Coangelo.
You're to see him tomorrow
at 9:
00 AM sharp.You do realize
that I built my own
$1.6 billion company
from scratch?
You're still a felon, hmm?
A felon who's had nothing
but eight years to brainstorm.
And all I need is one good idea
that puts me right back on top.
within five years.
I just got out early
for good behavior.
Could you let me enjoy that for two
minutes before you start your buzzkill?
Claire Elizabeth Axle...
that your daughter?
Yes.
staying with her?
Yes. And it's Claire Elizabeth now.
Smart...
dropped the name.
There you go, sir.
Thanks.
Daddy!
Daddy.
Daddy, it's perfect.
- It's perfect. It's perfect.
- I'm so glad you like it.
- How did you know?
- How did I know?
I'm your father. I'm supposed to know
what to get you for your birthday.
I have an idea.
Will you ride with me?
Honey, I can't right now.
I'm in the middle of doing some work.
Come on, just one ride.
You have time for one ride, Dad.
Honey, you know I'm not much
of a bike guy, all right?
So you ride your bike and I'll come
and find you a little bit later.
Go on, go on, go on.
Happy birthday, baby.
# Maybe if there's something wrong #
# Well, I don't like
how you wait until I'm gone #
# To find a way... #
I'm recording.
Jesus Christ,
you look like hell.
When did you start smoking?
Around the same time you became
a total self-absorbed prick.
You feel good frolicking around
with $362 million of my money?
It's not your money.
It's half your money.
The rest went to the poor innocent
victims whose fingers you chipped off.
You wouldn't have this house
or this life if it weren't for me.
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"Father of Invention" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 23 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/father_of_invention_8061>.