Fat Albert Page #3

Where is it that you live? - North Philly.

What? Was that funny?

Yes. It is.

Considering the fact that

you're in North Philadelphia...

and therefore are visiting North

Philadelphia from North Philadelphia.

Is there something more

you want to say, Albert?

Oh, uh, yes. We're here

because Doris has a problem.

- Oh, God.

- Yes, she doesn't have any friends.

So we came here to tell everybody

to be her friend.

That's very nice.

All right, kids. Power up.

Log on and access the Internet.

- Yes. Can I help you?

- Uh, what is this?

Uh, why don't we put those down?

Two more laps.

Well, that was one of the more

humiliating experiences of my life.

Look, I don't have friends

because I don't want friends.

So if you guys would stop trying to help

me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Hey, hey, hey!

You run track?

Yeah, I do. My grandpa used to

run track for Temple.

It was important to him,

so I run.

- Well, are you fast?

- No, I'm not.

- I'm lucky just to finish.

- Hey, hey, hey. Don't think that way.

I'm sure you could win.

And I'll be here to cheer you on.

- I'll see you next class.

- Okay.

- Bye.

- Who is that?

Oh, that's my sister Lauri.

Well, not really my "sister" sister.

My foster sister.

My family took her in last year.

Well, I'm gonna go get ready.

You guys just stay put. Don't walk.

Don't talk. Don't do anything.

And I do not have a problem.

Hey, Fat Albert.

You sick or somethin'?

I'm going to go talk

to Doris's sister.

You know,

about Doris's problem.

- Is he all right?

- I don't know.

- I know you don't know. I wasn't talking to you.

- I wasn't talking to you.

- Well, who--

- Guys, guys!

You're Lauri.

Yeah. Who are you?

I'm Fat Albert.

Well, Albert,

is there something you want?

Wait. Don't rub it.

Oh, boy. That be

some nice budda-bup.

You watch your mouth.

That better?

- Yeah.

- My mother showed me how to do that.

She blew in his eye.

Uh, what does that mean?

- I don't know.

- I know you don't know.

Guys, guys, guys!

So--

Doris tells me that you two are sisters.

I mean, not real sisters,

but foster sisters.

Man, there's no way I'm letting

that fat kid get over on Lauri.

See, Doris has this problem

where I think that--

Albert--

I see you two have met.

He's an athlete, Arthur. Look.

- Yo. You sure, Reginald?

- I'll talk to you later, Lauri.

I guess he came

to try out for the track team.

I wonder what event, uh,

he could participate in.

- The high hurdle.

- Yo, the belly roll.

How about the 440?

440? Do you want to

race me, beefy boy?

You don't want to

race Fat Albert.

Fat Albert?

- Yeah he's fat, but he's fast.

- Fabby but fabba.

Okay. Well, let's see

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