Family Weekend Page #5

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but Thor just hits, you know.

Doesn't Thor, like, have a, like,

hammer or something?

Yeah, he does.

Totally fits you.

It's badass.

Badass, man.

Isn't Thor

kind of butch?

No.

We named you after

Jackson Pollock,

one of my early influences.

Paint-splattering hack.

Anyway...

I thought you liked Pollock.

You found his work sensual.

Sensual.

That was a long time ago.

Paints don't really

get me off anymore.

No one needs to know that,

Mom. What does that mean?

Well, do I have

to explain it to you?

It's really

not that difficult.

Thor.

Does that mean that

you don't find my work

sensual anymore?

Sensual.

Thor.

What's your work look like? I haven't

seen one of them finished in five years.

Yeah, I think I still like it.

Sensual!

Painting is a process.

You can finish a process.

It's not like

baking a pie.

Thor. Thor. Thor.

I don't cook.

So it's not a problem.

Aah! Cramp. Cramp.

Walk it off.

walk it off.

When a horned toad

gets angry,

it squirts blood

out of its eyes.

Sensual.

Charley horse balm.

Anyone got

any Tiger Balm?

Painting

is a process.

# Sensual...

Don't just pop 'em

in the oven,

and, ding, they're done.

Well, I'm done...

A horned toad

is actually a lizard.

with this whole...

Sensual.

family dinner thing

Aah!

What is wrong

with you people?!

Can we be normal

one GD day

out my entire

GD life?

Hey, what's with

all the GDs today?

It means "God damn. "

I know what it means.

I competed in the state

regionals today,

and no one showed up.

Oh, that

jump-roping thing.

Oh, wow.

Was that today?

I left GD notes around

the entire GD house.

There it is again.

That's what that little

yellow Post-it was.

You both said

you'd be there.

No, I said

I had a meeting,

that I couldn't come.

And if I said

I was gonna come,

you know I'd

be there, baby.

Okay. Mickey.

No, Mickey, don't.

No, Mickey.

Mickey, don't, please.

Mickey, no. Shh.

Mm-hmm.

January 15, 7:
32 P.M. Eastern

Standard Time.

Emily... "It's at 3:30.

You'll be there?"

Dad... "3:
30. Okay. " Mom... "Yes, yes,

I'll be there. "

Emily... "Okay, because you

missed the district finals. "

Mom... "I also missed my 20s

pregnant with you and your brother. "

Okay, that's enough.

Emily, look, I don't understand

what the big deal is,

okay, this jumping rope.

What's next, the Olympic

jumping jacks team?

Maybe you can get gold in the

freestyle dorking.

Shut up, Jacks.

It's Thor.

Shut up.

This was important

to me.

Emily, you know I don't approve

of competitive sports.

It teaches people a value system

where one person

is better than another just because

of their genetic inheritance,

because of their

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