Family Weekend Page #4

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If we don't end up punching out

our own tickets,

we just suffer through

years of therapy,

only to realize that our parents

were completely inept

and that we are now

equally inept parents

...and loud,

the Tasmanian devils

can have up to four pups

at a time...

Well, I refuse to partake

in this farce.

The animal will defend itself

if provoked.

I should just down a bottle

of Mom's sleeping pills

and get it over with.

Bet they wouldn't

even notice or care.

Do you think they would?

Most saltwater fish

can survive

in a tank filled

with human blood.

Mom wouldn't.

Maybe Dad...

for a day or so.

At least

Grandma Gail would.

The animal will continue

to spread its disease.

In captivity,

a scientist hopes

the devils can

be rehabilitated,

but first they must be tranquilized

and restrained.

Where... Where

the hell's the food?

Gotta be here somewhere.

Can smell it.

Is this a joke?

In here!

What's the occasion?

Just trying something new.

Come sit.

So not funny.

Hold, please.

What the...

Someone kidnapped

my dinner.

I know.

That's what I said.

Hang on. What the...

I don't understand.

Lucy, can you

hand me my plate?

We are having dinner

as a family.

Rick, I'm gonna have

to call you back.

No, it's dinner

as a family.

Whoo!

I know. It's...

I haven't

done it in, like...

They're staring at me.

I've gotta go. Bye.

Okay, let's go.

I'm gonna...

Do you mind

sitting down first?

Mm-hmm.

Strange child.

Thank you

for joining us, Dad.

Was I late?

Shouldn't I be

sitting here?

Hah!

I'm hosting this dinner.

please sit down.

Mom, phone.

Just one second.

Mom, phone.

Send.

So I'm sure

you're all wondering

what we're doing here.

Not at all.

Historically families

have had meals together.

The mother cooks.

The children gather.

Everyone eats and enjoys.

Is the mother

the sole breadwinner

with Monday deadlines

historically?

I support

what Emily is doing.

Now lets all join hands

and say a little prayer.

What do they say?

A family that prays

together stays together

Mom.

You must be joking.

Not in the least.

Taxi Driver?

Sure as sh*t.

Fantastic.

Lord Shiva,

Bless this family,

and may your third eye look down

upon us with love and kindness.

Amen. Amen.

Amen.

Since when

are we Hindu?

How do we know which God is

the one true God, hmm?

Just 'cause you're born in a

specific region of the planet

doesn't make your God

better than someone else's.

I say we pray to them all

just to be fair.

So, as I was saying...

Oh, I have

an announcement.

From now on,

I want to be called Thor.

Hmm. Thor, okay.

Thor?

Like the comic book?

No, the Norse God

of thunder,

I was gonna go with Poseidon,

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