Family Guy Presents: Something, Something, Something, Dark Side Page #5

Year:
2009
463 Views


l've been hav!ng all pee dreams.

All the scopes are dead! l can't see a th!ng!

Sorry, that's me.

l was st!ll us!ng an electron!c dev!ce.

Okay, that's much better.

Now l can see the swamp... The swamp!

Swamp crashes.

They can land you knee-deep !n trouble.

But the ''good hands'' people at Allstate w!ll

make sure you have a soft land!ng.

Profess!onal serv!ce.

Non-threaten!ng black spokesperson.

That's Allstate's stand.

Thank God for these a!rbags.

You okay back there?

l'm okay, but the m!dget

!ns!de me's got a head concuss!on.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Artoo?

Artoo!

(ARTOO SCREAMlNG)

Artoo, are you okay?

l th!nk so. Boy, who knows

what else !s !n th!s swamp?

SUPER FRIENDS ANNOUNCER.

MeanwhiIe, at the Legion of Doom!

-Not now!

-Okay.

(EERlE SlLENCE)

(CAWlNG)

YODA:
Hey, who the hell are you?

What the hell !s that creepy l!ttle th!ng?

Well, l'm not Yoda.

Okay, l'm Yoda.

You're Yoda?

You're the one

that Ob!-Wan sent me here to f!nd.

W!ll you teach me the ways of the Force?

No, l w!ll not teach you

the ways of the Force.

Okay, l'll teach you the ways of the Force.

But !f you want to become a Jed!,

f!rst l gotta ask you someth!ng.

D!d you see Van WiIder?

Yeah, l saw !t on Comedy Central.

No! No, no, no, no, no!

We got a lot of tra!n!ng to do.

l'm ask!ng, d!d you see

the DVD frat house ed!t!on

w!th all the uncensored footage

and the !nterv!ew w!th Ryan Reynolds?

No.

Well, that's all part

of master!ng the Force, man.

lt starts w!th

check!ng out sweet-ass DVD releases,

l!ke Iron Man, d!rected by Jon Favreau.

Yeah, he puts h!mself

!n h!s own mov!es, but you don't m!nd

'cause he seems l!ke the k!nd of guy

who'd help you move !f you asked h!m.

l'm glad you're here.

Look, l pulled th!s all apart,

and !t looks l!ke

you're gonna need a new condenser.

Really? A new condenser?

Yeah, and l would also h!ghly recommend

a complete flush

of your photon convers!on system.

l swear l just d!d that.

Okay, well, how about th!s?

Do you want me to just go ahead

and do that

wh!le l'm replac!ng the new condenser?

l th!nk l'd l!ke to call my husband.

Look, how about th!s?

You buy the condenser,

and l'll make out w!th you.

(EX CLAlMS )

l'm gonna k!ss you so hard,

the p!cture's gonna change

!nto someth!ng else.

Look, th!s !sn't W!ndex

but !t's just as good. lt's the store brand.

-No. No. lt leave a f!lm.

-l'm okay w!th the f!lm. Just use !t.

-No. No. l no can clean.

-Sh!t.

(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)

-Hello?

-Mr. Darth Vader...

Yes, s!r. Qu!et, qu!et. lt's the Emperor.

-lt's the Emperor.

-Tell h!m l no can do Fr!day.

-Okay. Okay, okay. S!r... Yeah.

-My apartment need water.

-No, no. No.

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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