Excision Page #4

She had a doctor's appointment.

She's gonna need a lung

transplant, isn't she?

You've been

doing your homework.

lt's a very serious procedure.

There's a high risk

of infection.

With all the mishaps that happen

in hospitaIs these days,

perhaps you should consider

an alternative.

That day is a Iong ways

down the road, Pauline.

All right, next question.

Let's see.

Somebody asked,

"ls it true that being fat results

in poor sperm quality?

And if so, do you have to use

protection while having sex?"

Yes, fact:
being overweight does

affect your sperm quality.

What the hell are you doing?

You're gonna set off

the f***ing fire alarm.

l lost my virginity yesterday.

Checking myself for STDs.

You are such a freak.

Who would sleep with you?

"Mr. Claybaugh,

does it mean that you're gay

since you try to suck your

own dick aII the time?"

Who asked this question?

Anybody know who wrote this?

If somebody couId teII me

who wrote this question...

You're an idiot. Do you really think

that you're gonna be able to tell

if you have an STD

by looking at your blood?

PauIine:

lt's just one of those things.

Brachiosaurus thing.

Weird. l don't know.

- Sorry.

- Hello, Adam.

Hey, what are you doing here?

l'd watch out for Pauline,

if l were you.

She gave herself an STD test

in science cIass today.

Everything was fine, but you

can never be too careful.

Oh, Natalie, l meant to ask you,

do you have any STDs?

Absolutely not.

Good, then neither do l.

- What is she talking about?

- l have no idea.

How was school today?

Dreadful.

Things not going well

with your friend?

What friend?

The boy from the study group.

Adam?

He was toIerabIe,

but l've lost interest.

Well, that's a shame.

He seemed

like such a nice young man.

Pauline:
First off, this will

be our last session.

You are completely unqualified

to be doing this. lt's unethical.

I have it on the highest

authority that you're wrong.

l refuse to allow you to indulge

in my psycho-sexual fantasies.

l would imagine a man

as repressed as yourself

would have his own

issues to work out.

l'm here to listen, not judge.

Psychiatry is a science.

At least in some circles anyway.

lf there's one thing l know,

it's that science

and religion don't mix.

So, that's it then?

That's it.

( religious music playing )

( turns off radio )

Dear God, in regards to my sister,

while l might not show

it aII the time,

l love her.

Please allow me to do everything

in my power to cure her.

And lastly, my mother.

Kill her.

KiII her before

she can make me attend

those horribIe

Cotillion classes.

You'll probably want

to make it painless.

l get it, that's your thing.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes