Ernest Goes to Camp Page #3

the biggest geek of them all.

Not Crutchfield.

Crutchfield! That's it!

[Laughter]

I knew it was Crutchfield

all along.

Ernest!

[Brakes squeak, glass breaks]

[Hinges squeak, thud]

[Laughter]

What happened?

Ernest wasn't watching

the road.

All right, you guys move out.

This ain't a pleasure cruise.

[Laughter]

[Grunts]

Come on. Move.

You guys, line up.

Frankly, I'm disappointed

in you, Ernest.

I give you

a simple task to do,

and this is what I get.

I don't know how

you can ever expect

to be a counselor.

You're right,

Mr. Tipton.

He's just not

counselor material.

[Coughs]

Uh, Mist... it's...

it's not my fault.

All right, let's go.

I was... [Coughs]

I mean I was...

[Sighs]

I'm sorry, Mr. Tipton.

I'll try to do better.

[Sighs]

Gosh.

Let's go.

Keep it moving.

[Birds chirping]

[Exhales deeply]

Well, this is it...

your home away from prison.

Stennis, the delinquents

you ordered...

all yours.

Have fun, guys.

The name's Stennis...

Counselor Stennis to you.

Let's go. Move it.

Inside.

All right,

get this place cleaned up.

Mess hall, 10 minutes.

What a dump!

[Indistinct conversations]

[All talking]

[Talking subsides]

Here comes the riffraff.

Looks like

"Project:
Last Chance" to me.

Come on, gang.

Follow me.

Well, well.

Looks like daddy's little

gentlemen are glad to see us.

Yeah, if white bread

could talk, it'd fit

in right here.

There's a lot of love

in this room.

I can feel it,

and it's a beautiful thing.

Yeah. I'm moved.

[Liquid bubbling]

Hi, fellas.

Boy, do I have

something special prepared

for your first day at camp.

- [Fly buzzing]

- Hey, what is this stuff?

Oh, it's sugar puffs

with a gravy casserole

with just a cuwcah

of bologna-walnut fudge

in a pork marinade.

I think it'll be

a real boost for the fiber

of American youth.

Isn't it, Jake?

Why, of course it is.

Doesn't smell too bad.

[Buzzing continues]

Yeah, that's the guy

who once ate two pounds

of modeling clay.

Modeling clay!

Yellow modeling clay!

That's the secret ingredient

to eggs erroneous.

We re-fuse the proteins

like bullion.

Of course it would!

Uh, get back to work!

Modeling clay...

Modeling clay.

[Indistinct conversations]

Ugh!

Oh! Ho ho!

Did the little fellow

fall down and go boom?

Looks like he needs

special classes in walking.

Hey, dipstick, you ever

pick on anybody your own size,

or just little kids?

Hey, can I help it

if the kid can't walk?

It was an accident.

Accident, huh?

Well... whoops!

What do you know?

Another accident!

There must be something

going around.

[Laughter]

Ugh!

[All shouting indistinctly]

[Shouting continues]

Stop it!

Stop it!

[Shouting stops]

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