Ellen DeGeneres: The Beginning Page #5

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we are all connected.

The next thing I felt

was this little tiny thing

in the palm of my hand...

there is this little mosquito

in the palm of my hand,

this little

prehistoric-looking creature...

this strange bug...

And I'm thinking about, what I just thought,

I look at this thing...

then I just killed it...

and then I went back

to my lovely state of being...

the next thing I heard was: "Would you like

anything else or will that be all?"

told the waiter I was meditating,

"idiot, thanks a lot for interrupting... "

He wouldn't get any tip,

I'll tell you that...

It took him forever

to get that veal anyway, so...

I decided an outdoor

coffee was not the place

to be spiritual, people

are too rude and stupid...

So I left...

I started walking to my car...

which was like three blocks away...

because the parking situation is crazy...

cause the world overpopulated

with the wrong kind of people...

and back to the loving place...

so I am walking and I see my car,

and I see a meter-mate standing at my car...

writing a ticket...

and I'm like:
"Oh, please, wait, stop,

please don't write the ticket, I am here. "

and she's like:
"I am sorry, but you're

parked illegally in

front of a fire-hydrant. "

and I like "Oh, illegally

in front of a fire-hydrant. "

And she is like:
"Please,

stop talking to me that way. "

And I am like:
"What way?"

It was fun... and so...

I said:
"Please, be compassionate,... "

don't give me the ticket, I'm here...

and she said:
"Oh, I'm sorry,... "

I've already started writing,

I can't stop.

Oh that's how, you've already

started writing, so you can't stop... OK...

Well,... I would not like to hit you, but

my fist is already in the air, OK?

and back to the loving place.

So I get in my car,

and I lit up a cigarette and prayed

to where I would be lead...

and I heard:
"Drive!", it was her...

And I'm like:
"Alright... "

So I start driving...

It is so hard to drive and

be compassionate and loving.

Cause the way people drive...

it's just enough to... I'm telling ya...

I was behind sb, they were going so slow...

I could had gotten out of my car

and walked around it going.

Sorry to have to pass you,

but you're going a little too slow.

Anyway, so I went to go around them

to give them the I-hate-you look.

How else are they gonna learn?!

It's up to us... so...

I went to go around them and it was...

a nun... can you believe that?!

I was like:
why don't you take

a vow no to drive...

drop it like a bad habit.

...and back to the loving place and...

again praying to where I would be lead...

Then I see a health-food store just

right there, appears right before my eyes.

That seems spiritual, I have never been

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