Eight Crazy Nights Page #2
what getting flipped off means.
He's so behind the times,
he thinks Viagra's a big waterfall.
But there is one thing he knows.
The voting has begun for the highest
honor anyone in town could receive.
I think it's gonna be your year, Whitey.
I really do.
Whoa. Don't even think of coming
on this floor with those hard soles, pally.
Fine, I'll just ref in my socks.
Must be game time.
Don't let him push your buttons, whitey.
What are you waiting for?
- Come on. Dribble!
- Hurry up!
What, no whistle on that one, ref?
Okay.
Foul on this kid for eating
everything in sight.
Jelly jugs, next time you come on
my court, you better wear a bra. Okay?
He was just kidding, son.
You've got very nice b*obs.
- Jerk!
- Idiot!
You don't like that? How about you
throw something at me. I dare you.
With pleasure!
They're scratching up my floor.
Here comes a seizure.
This will pass in a second, kids.
Don't be scared.
Is he break dancing?
Okay, that's it. Game over.
Nobody wants to see an old man die.
Fatty's team loses because
I want to see him cry again.
I want to talk to you in my office.
Why the hell are we at the mall?
You need to clean your brain out.
And to me, the mall is the best place
to do that.
What's good about this place?
What's good about it? Everything.
You want a pair of socks?
My buddy, Mr. foot locker,
will warm your feet.
You need a fancy doodad?
Hello, sharper lmage. Thanks for the
combination pogo sticklclock radio.
I mean, the body shop, the tie rack...
Gnc, radioshack...
Petland for a cat or two,
Spencer's gifts for some fake dog doo...
Sbarro's, dunkin' donuts,
they're simply the best.
And don't forget the orange
chicken at panda express.
But if you're short of cash
like little old me...
The window shopping's always free.
Did you prepare that or did you rhyme
that many times in a row by accident?
Yeah, that was weird, wasn't it?
Maybe you are a leprechaun.
Let's just get some snacks and chat.
Okay?
Aren't you a boy?
Now, I'd like to make this work out.
But in order to do so, you're
going to have to learn...
That youth basketball ain't about you
and your lack of respect for others.
It's about the kids and teaching them
responsibility and teamwork.
I've been doing my part for 35 years.
Are you ready to join me, big guy?
Joke's on you, tough guy. I can't read.
Special delivery for Whitey duvall,
sugar-free doughnuts.
Every day she does this for me.
Jennifer, you're too much.
My fraternal twin sister's a diabetic...
And out of respect for her and her
disease, I don't eat sugar products.
There's a surprise in there you'll like.
Don't tell me it's bavarian cream-filled.
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"Eight Crazy Nights" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/eight_crazy_nights_7505>.
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