Eight Crazy Nights

Synopsis: Adam Sandler invites you to share some holiday cheer in the new, no-holds-barred musical comedy Adam Sandler's 8 Crazy Nights. Davey Stone, a 33-year old party animal, finds himself in trouble with the law after his wild ways go too far. In keeping with the holiday spirit, the judge gives Davey one last chance at redemption-spend the holiday performing community service as the assistant referee for the youth basketball league or go to jail. Davey thinks he's gotten off easy until he meets Whitey Duvall, the eccentric, elf-like head referee. The mismatch between Whitey's good heart and never-ending optimism and Davey's constant troublemaking soon have them both wondering if going to jail wouldn't have been easier! In this new, full-length animated feature about basketball, old girlfriends, holiday spirits, and the mall, Adam Sandler voices the three lead characters of Whitey, Davey, and Whitey's fraternal twin sister Eleanore!
Director(s): Seth Kearsley
Production: Columbia Tristar Pictures
  1 win & 5 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
76 min

Well, all right. Look at all that

beautiful, white stuff come down.

Christmas is right around the corner...

... And Hanukkah starts tonight.

Ain't a better time of year.

You got no school, you can eat

like a pig and people give you stuff.

Just makes you feel tingly all over.

But you know what?

There are some buffoons out there who

actually can't stand the holiday season.

And seeing other people

enjoy the festivities...

... Gets them even more disgusted.

In fact, the head honcho of holiday


... Lives right here in little old dukesberry.

His name's Davey Stone.

That fool's in the China dragon...

... Coming up with his own way

of feeling tingly all over.

Four scorpion bowl in five minute?

That's got to be a restaurant record.

Well, right now I'm going to go for

another restaurant record: Longest burp.

Congratulations. Now, please excuse me

while I go take shower.

At one time, Davey was a super student,

super athlete...

... Super sweet, super kid and the apple

of his parents' eye.

Now, he's just a 33-year-old,

crazy Jewish guy...

... Who lives for making this town

as miserable as he is...

... Especially on the first night

of Hanukkah.

How'd he end up this way?

Let's save that for later...

... Because right now, Davey's about to

get himself into some serious trouble.

Hope you're not planning on driving

tonight, Stone.

No, officer. I'm just going to say

good night to my car...

Then walk home and enjoy

the holiday decorations.

Listen, sweetheart. I have to leave you

here alone tonight...

But don't you worry, I'll be back

first thing in the morning.

Now, behave yourself,

and don't stay up too late.


All right, baby. But let's make this quick.

Oh, mama!

You like it when I hold you like this?

Because I'll do it all night long.

So sweet.

Yes, so precious.

I love you, car.

He dine and dash me! He chew and

screw me! He sip and skip me!

- What?

- He no pay for his four scorpion bowl.

Oh, boy.

Get him.

Come back here, you jerk!

Somebody stop that guy!

I'm the kind of guy who can't stand

a holiday

so I drink them all away, that's me

i don't decorate no trees

and I won't eat no potato latkes

but I'll give this old lady's melons

a squeeze

that's just who I am

well, I'll never spin a dreidel,

but I'll always throw an egg

and I'll Charley horse your leg for laughs

while you're singing your holiday tunes

I'm acting like the town buffoon

whipping out my big, white, scary moon

and blowing a beef your way

i hate folks who think reindeer are cute

to me they're just something to shoot

i hate love

i hate you

i hate me

well, I'm a snowmobile-stealing

no 'tis-the-season-feeling kind of guy

this time of year sucks

so I take my nunchaks

and make sure every snowman dies

believing in Santa's all wrong

and Hanukkah's eight nights too long

i hate love

i hate you

i hate me

coming through.

I hate love

i hate you

i hate me

Davey Stone, you're nothing

but a delinquent!

Stone, what the heck are we

going to do with you?

I've sent you to reform school, the drunk

tank, the local psychiatric ward.

Not one of those places has made you

change an ounce for the better.

You used to be a good kid...

Playing ball for the Jewish community

centre, with the best jump shot ever seen.

Your honor, I still got a pretty good

jump shot. Let me show you.

I'd hit a 3-pointer, but I'd

have to drop my pants...

And pop a thumb up my boo-boo.

You leave me no choice. I'll really

have to crack down hard this time.

Your honor, if it pleases the court,

I'd like to interject for a moment.

Rate this script:(4.67 / 3 votes)

Brooks Arthur

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Eight Crazy Nights" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 1 Oct. 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/eight_crazy_nights_7505>.

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