Dumb and Dumber To Page #4

That was awkward.

You're not kidding.

When somebody comes to

your door at 3:
00 a.m.,

put some pants on!

Hey, wait a second.

That's where I met Fraida Felcher.

She worked at the funeral parlor

where they buried Pee-Stain.

Wow.

Think about it.

If I hadn't sold that

crotch rocket to Pee-Stain,

you wouldn't have a bastard child

who's gonna save your life.

God's got a pretty warped

sense of humor, huh?

Yeah. I bet he smokes weed.

Otherwise, why would he put

our testicles outside our bodies

where someone could do this?

Ow!

Bush club!

What are you doing, Lloyd?

I'm about to meet my kid!

Sorry, Har.

Bushes like that don't

come along every day.

Excuse me, sir. Is Fraida working today?

I'm Fraida. Oh.

Sorry for the confusion.

We meant your smoking-hot

daughter, Fraida Junior.

There is no Fraida Junior.

I'm the only Fraida in the family.

That little hottie must

have given us a fake name.

Look, guys, it's me,

Fraida Felcher.

Yeah, right.

Like we'd be fighting

over those blowfish jowls.

No offense.

Harry.

Lloyd.

I'm gonna say this one more time.

I'm Fraida.

Tattoo.

Oh. yeah?

Then show us your tattoo. Mmm-hmm.

Because Fraida had a cute

little smiley face on her back

right above her bikini line.

Well?

Hmm.

It's close. Mmm.

Oh. Hi, Fraida.

Oh, hey! How you been?

Have you been doing yoga?

Yeah, I'm kind of busy. Is

there a reason you guys are here?

Yes.

I just received this postcard

that you sent me 22 years ago.

Talk about snail mail.

You better come in.

So, did you, uh, ever have the baby?

I had a daughter. Named her Fanny.

You hear that, Har? A little girl.

Fanny Felcher! Ow!

Are you all right? Uh, bad back.

Oh, I have so many questions for you.

Like?

For starters, how was the pregnancy?

Was it a tough one? Did

they have to saw you open?

Whoa, Har. Dial it down!

We're talking about the

miracle of childbirth here.

What my insensitive friend meant was,

did you have a C-section

or were you able to have

the baby au snatch-urel?

It went smoothly.

So, uh, where is she?

Can I meet her?

I gave her up for adoption.

What?

Why? Because I was broke and scared.

I regretted it as soon as I did it.

But it was too late.

I'd already signed away all my rights.

Then a couple years ago

I wrote her a letter.

But she never wrote me back.

Wait here.

What do we do now?

What do you mean, "What do we do now?"

I mean, at this exact moment

in time, what do we do?

Harry, don't you hear that?

It's the fat lady singing.

It's over!

I need something to drink.

But... Harry, enough!

We tried and we failed!

As Vince Lombardi used to say,

you gotta know when to quit!

Hey, you should pick out one of

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