Dudley Do-Right Page #5

Nell fenwick!

You look terrific.

How's it goin'?

- Me do well.

- Good for you, sugar.

Well, come on.

Let's go see the show!

This riverdance stuff

is really hot lately.

Dudley? You remember

standing room only, don't you?

Of course I do.

How are you,

standing room only?

Right. Look,

could we talk?

Certainly.

How!

Bravo! Bravo!

Okay, look.

A snitch I ain't,

all right?

But for the last week or so

I've been seein' this guy

out in the woods at night...

With this kinda Abe Lincoln

hat on and this opera coat...

Goin' around shooting rocks

and streams, crap like that,

with a shotgun.

- Yes? Go on.

- You don't think

that's weird?

No, no.

It's snidely whiplash.

He thinks he's hunting

vampires with gold bullets,

which scares the heck

out of me.

Vampires or gold bullets?

Vampires.

- I'll tell you what. You're

outta your friggin' mind.

- Me or him?

Me. Me, me.

Yeah.

That's a fine way

to talk to your chief.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

this particular mountie

has a date.

Wow.

Dudley.

I wish we could have stayed

for the fireworks.

The fireworks are

even more beautiful

from this vantage point.

Yes.

when I'm calling you

ooh-ooh-ooh

Dudley?

Not now, okay?

Yes, Nell.

Let's just row.

Of course, Nell.

That's when--

Meanwhile, that same night,

the poorest man

in semi-happy valley was

about to strike it rich.

Hello!

Enjoying your evening

thus far?

Thought I'd just drop in.

Found some gold, have we?

N-n-no. There's no gold

anywhere around here.

But there is--

lots of it,

all over the place.

And you--

you horrid example

of a human being--

Have made

the initial discovery!

You're famous. You will be

on network television.

Network television?

No way!

Now, stand up,

hold the pan out and smile.

- Can I-- can I

borrow your comb?

- Shut up and grin.

Welcome. Welcome

to our show. Have a seat.

Hi. How are you?

Well, they're calling this

the biggest gold strike

in history.

Certainly it's the biggest

gold find of the century.

Absolutely.

And the man who made it

all possible is here for

an exclusive interview today.

Mr. Kim j. Darling.

Welcome, Kim!

What's happening, Regis?

I'll tell you what's

happening, my friend.

You're what's happening.

Headlines all over the world.

How's it feel to have made

the biggest gold find

in a century?

Well,

I feel light-headed,

kathie Lee.

Well, your story

certainly has taken

the whole world by storm.

But, rege, the sad part is,

at least for Kim,

is he found all this gold...

- On land he doesn't own.

- I did?

But the owner is staking

no claim. He says

whoever finds the gold...

Gets to keep it.

- That's why the big gold rush

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