Dr. Cabbie Page #4

of some grand cosmic joke.

Yeah, you and me both.

We've now got more Ph. D.'s

in here than Harvard.

Sir?

Hmm...

- I don't mean to be rude,

but how are you treating your cancer?

Oh, what the hell'?

The anti-nausea pills...

Look, I'm not an oncologist,

but I can still help.

Yeah! OK...

I have lung cancer.

Chemo didn't work.

- I'm sorry!

- Oh, don't be sorry.

I'm the one who smoked.

Come over here.

Baby... OK!

Right there!

Remember, you're a cabbie, not a pilot.

- Yes, yes!

No drinking, no drugs.

- No!

- No sex.

I got eyes in every cab!

Shut up!

Don't smile!

Deepu! You're not a cabbie!

You're a doctor!

- And why do you have to move out?

Because of what I said?

- You guys won't get it!

What?

Uncle, you were right.

No job here is too big or too small.

And, Ma, I have to find my own way now.

He cannot travel the path

until he becomes the path itself.

I start every new journey

with the blessings

of the elephant god, Ganesh.

May it bring you all the happiness

that it's brought to me.

- Oh, Auntie! Thank you!

You're the best!

See you, Uncle Vijay.

Huh?

mo?

'Huh?

- Do it! Come on!

- Huh!

Bye, Mom.

Never tell anyone that you're a cabbie.

And if you see anyone who looks like family,

don't you dare stop for them!

- "Hey Meat Ball"?

- Welcome home, boss!

Hey, Bruno!

Hey! This is Deepak

who I told you about.

- Ah!

- He's gonna be our landlord.

So, this is your new roommate?

- Are we sharing a room?

- We're sharing a bed.

But it's OK. It doesn't matter!

And this is his beautiful daughter, Mimi!

- Hello, Mimi!

- Hi!

- This guy can check you out anytime.

He's a doctor!

Ah! Dottore!

- From India!

- Ah, India! Come sit! Sit!

Ah! This guy always

banging chicks in the room.

I tell him, "No banging chicks in the room!"

- Why do you bang...

- First, you bang the chicks in the room,

then you wanna bang a guy.

What next? You wanna bang me?

- No!

- Why would I wanna bang you?

- Sir, there will be hanky-panky.

- Yeah!

- No banging!

Dottore,

you gotta try today's special!

- Ah!

- My daughter's grilled octopussy. Muah!

Mimi!

- Huh'.7

- Two special, huh?

- Yeah! Two for the doctor! Oh!

Sir, actually, I'm a vegetarian.

- Vegetarian?

- Yes, but Tony isn't! He...

- Hey, I... I don't want no octopussy.

Why don't you eat the octopussy?

You don't want my daughter's octopussy?

You, dottore!

You will love my daughter's...

- Yeah, you'll love the octopussy!

- Sir, I don't eat meat.

- Why you not want

my daughter's octopussy?

Dirty guys!

You think I talk about her VJ?

I have an Uncle Vijay!

- Your uncle has a VJ?

No, no! His uncle is Vijay.

Yes!

Your uncle is your auntie?

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