Doghouse Page #3

- Well... I did say...

- You f***in' idiot.

- Listen, man, I know where the key is!

Jesus! This gets better and better.

I might just stay on the minibus

and wait for the return trip.

Gentlemen, you are all past

the point of no return.

Oh, for f***'s sake, Mikey.

It's not me. It's not me!

Hello? Yeah...

I told you I'd sign the papers.

Solicitors always say that.

I can't do nothing today.

I'm not in London.

Moodley... Moodley!

What do you mean it's a sh*t hole?

Hello? Hello?

Not my PS...

That's it. Give us that f***ing thing.

I've had enough of this!

- I'm not having this.

- What are you gonna do?

- All the phones, off, in this bag.

- What?!

- OK? All of you. Come on!

- No, no, no, no.

Getting away from it all doesn't include

spousal abuse by T-Mobile.

- See you, darling.

- I need to ring my mum.

- You've got mine already.

- In the bag, sunshine.

- Ladies first.

- After you, then.

All right.

Mikey?! Is this it?

- Please tell me you took a wrong turn.

- Told you the place was a dead end.

Is that it? Is this?

Mikey!

We're in the middle of f***in' nowhere.

I'd leave all that, Mikey,

till we've done a bit of reconnaissance.

- We might not be staying.

- What do you mean not staying?

I'm off the clock for half an hour,

then I'm leaving...

...with or without you.

Fiddlesticks!

On your head!

- What the f*** are you doing?

- You idiot!

I'm sure this place used to be bigger

when I was, err... little.

Looks like the whole village

has f***ed off with your nan.

Where's all the women, then?

When were you last here, Mikey?

- Well, it's been a few years.

- Right, come on. First things first.

Mikey, you break into your nan's house

and make sure I've got a bed for tonight.

The rest of us can get the beers in

at the... Cock & Bull,

and drink until Moodley

starts looking like Barbados.

And someone

go get Candy down for a drink.

I'll go.

Neil, if she sees you,

she's liable to drive away with our stuff.

What are you talking about?

Women love me.

Really

You are a long way from

your sports car, though, aren't you?

I'm gonna go for a slash.

Get us a pint of the usual.

Oh, no, put your money away, Neil.

My shout

Knob.

Wow...

"Vote Meg Nut".

Meg Nut... Nut-meg...

"Sponsored by Wundawash. "

Ew!

Oh, sh*t.

Ew!

Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, thank you, gnomie.

Hello?

I can't believe we jumped

on one of Mikey's schemes.

- His heart's in the right place.

- Shame his head is up his arse.

Come on, Pat.

Liven yourself up. Get 'em in.

Neil, Do you see any bar staff?

I think I just saw one in the khazi,

chucking up.

- Maybe they're all sick.

- What the f*** is that horrible stench?

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