Doghouse

Aw, f*ck...

Fuckin' hell!

What's the matter with you? What?

- I'm not a bloody prostitute!

- All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Christ's sake, this was our second date!

Was it? Listen, listen, all right...

I was on the tequilas

last night and, um...

- What is your name again?

- Oh, you're kidding.

Tell you what, if you was a prostitute...

you know... you'd be caked.

- Argh!

- Ow!

What's the matter with you?

That was a compliment!

You know what I mean, I can't win!

I've got the pox of it.

Tell you something else,

you're only an old dog, anyway.

Maybe "boys' weekend,"

wasn't the best choice of words.

Whatever. Have a nice time.

I'm not one of those guys

who ditches his mates for his girlfriend!

- I don't want you to ditch your mates!

- What DO you want?

An invite would've been nice.

No girls allowed, darling.

I didn't know

there was gonna be strippers!

- And Neil's not in charge. I am.

- That fills me with confidence.

I'm only going to my gran's.

I'll be back on Monday.

I'll have the locks changed before then.

Bex, Bex...

It's for Vince. Vince!

He's helped me

out so many times, I've lost count.

When I first came to London,

he supported me. I owe him.

Lots of people get divorced, Mikey.

He'll get over it.

Yes, by spending a weekend

getting trollied with his mates.

Well, you can celebrate

your own divorce with him!

I thought you'd react like that,

so I glued your ring on.

- See you Monday, babe. Love you too!

- Mikey, if you walk out that gate...

You don't know whether

you're coming or going, do you?

Patrick!

I'm going. I'm going!

The first weekend

my parents visit in years,

and you bugger off to the wilderness

to rediscover your testicles!

It's bad enough I have to tell them

you've quit your job...

Welcome to Sonic Stress Therapy.

It's going to be a beautiful day.

Let's start it with a smile.

- Anxiety is almost the same...

- Are you just gonna fucking go?

No, no.

It's a symbol of his identity, and the

source of his primeval inner strength.

So how come the Zombie Girls

kick his arse on page four?

How many times have I told you

they're NOT zombies?!

- All right, calm down. It's only a comic.

- No, no, it's not only a comic.

This is a... It's a unique

and often misunderstood art form.

This... is a painstakingly crafted,

and carefully balanced alignment

of words and art, OK?

- What, like TV?

- Do you want it or not?

- No, it's stupid.

- Right, piss off!

- Go on. We're closing early, OK?

- What? Why?

Spaceltime anomaly.

You mean... you want

a bit of time alone with your missus.

Don't touch her. Get off her and get out!

Go on, then!

Go on, out!

And don't come back!

Little knob-end.

Vince, you're not getting out of this!

- You're coming with us!

- We're gonna have such a good time!

Be careful! Be careful! Be careful!

Oh, you bastard!

Bastard!

Bastard!

Bastard!

Bastard! Argh!

THE HORRORS'

"SHE IS THE NEW THING")

# She's a special girl, you know

# The kind I'd hope to see

Hanging on a wall

# Watching me cross the street

# I wonder how long it will be

# Before I'm sick of her

And I no longer care

# Where she goes or has been

# Cause she's the new thing

# Cause she's the new thing

# She is the new thing

# Well, she's the new thing

# She is the new thing

# She is the new thing

# Another new thing

# Feel my stomach sink

As I curse my slow limbs

# She is the new thing

# Always a new thing

# Staring at her, ulterior girl #

Thanks.

- Vince, you left this behind, mate.

- Ta.

- I thought you'd given up.

- I have.

- Where's Banksy?

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