Doctor in the House Page #5

I must have time to think.

Five minutes.

I'm a very quick bath lady.

You've got to work, gentlemen.

Work, work, work, work, work...

Hydroxyl groups become a hydrogen

atom linked to a carbon atom.

Two stereoisomers are possible.

Alpha and beta indicate the isomers

on which the hydroxyls are above

and below the plane of the ring.

That's... perfectly clear, I suppose.

Why didn't we select professions with

no exams, like cabinet ministers?

Do you think they'll ask

about sarcoidosis?

- What's that?

- I haven't the foggiest.

If there's one on anxiety,

I'm home and dry.

- You all nervous?

- Oh, my...

Well, we're not overflowing

with confidence.

Your psychological attitude

is all wrong.

You're expecting failure. I'm not.

I just don't admit the idea

of failure. It doesn't exist.

I expect a pass.

One wonders which examiner

will be frustrated enough to make it.

- Phew! Cigarette, chum, please.

- How did you do?

That exam was an instrument

of torture.

Sarcoidosis. They must have heard me.

- It's over now.

- There's worse to come.

Excuse me. You see? Easy, wasn't it?

Ah! Your slip's showing!

- I feel very peculiar.

- Are you ill?

I don't know. I think it's passing

that anatomy exam. It's upset me.

Clever boy.

I feel better. It's extraordinary how

efficacious female companionship is.

- Simon, I think you should have one.

- Oh, should I?

Taffy, shouldn't Simon

have a female companion?

No! Not till after the rugby season.

Thank you. I've enough to do.

I'm worried

he has a mother fixation.

- I don't think so.

- We ought to find out.

- Who shall we get for you?

- I'll be your female companion.

- I have plenty of time.

- That's a very unethical suggestion.

Come and get it.

Dinner is served. Catch.

- Fish and chips.

- It's better than beans.

- Salt on the chips?

- Yep.

We're trying to find a girl

for Simon.

We think he needs a practical

education. Any suggestions?

- What about Rigor Mortis?

- That's the girl.

- Who's Rigor Mortis?

- One of the nurses.

- No great beauty but a kind heart.

- Fine for a trial run.

- I don't want a trial run.

- Of course you do.

Nothing to it. Just hold her hand

and look plaintive.

I had an awful job

to get here tonight.

I had to swap my late duty

with Nurse Gibson's bedpans.

Oh.

That was just before that awful case

where we had to use the stomach pump.

Look, would you

rather have some cocoa?

It is customary for me,

as dean of this hospital,

to welcome new students each year

and to address a few words to those

who are part of the way up the ladder

towards qualifying.

Among the latter are some whom,

I must confess,

I had regarded as permanent fixtures

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