Doctor in the House Page #3

- Will you put it on?

No, get your mother to do that.

I'm very busy.

Oh, well. Thanks a lot. Good night.

Good night.

Ripe tomatoes! Lovely apples!

I say, do I really

have to learn all this?

I'm afraid so, sir. Wait till you

start your clinical studies.

Don't worry. I'll see you through.

May I recommend this?

It's not on your list

but if you have difficulty,

you might be glad of it.

- What is it?

- The Student's Friend.

- Fits easily into the pocket.

- Put it with the others.

You won't regret that.

I must give you copy of this.

Yes, and I also want a skeleton.

Naturally. One can't get anywhere

without a skeleton.

Would you like the ordinary skeleton

or the de luxe with hands and feet?

- I think the ordinary one will do.

- Very well.

I'm not sure

but this one might suit me better.

No, sir. This has the most perfect

pelvis of any skeleton I've seen.

Oh.

Ripe tomatoes!

Two bobs a pineapple!

Hurry along there.

Now, come on. Hurry along.

Hold tight, please.

Grim, I've gone a bit wrong.

Can I look at yours?

Jolly colour, isn't it?

Like crme de menthe.

I'd like a waistcoat like that.

- Is that the colour it should be?

- I'm afraid so.

If I go on like this,

I'll pass the exam.

- Don't you want to?

- Heaven forbid. I must muck this up.

Let's see. What have we got here?

A spot of this.

Now a drop of what you fancy.

I say! That's a most pleasing effect,

don't you think?

- There you are.

- Ta. Mrs Rivington-Lomax.

Mrs Rivington-Lomax.

I ought to know who she was.

Who was she? A hospital benefactress?

A benefactress,

but not of St Swithins, of me.

She was my grandmother, bless her.

Rather a gruesome old lady,

but well-to-do.

She spent the twilight of her life

surrounded by the medical profession,

about every member of which

she was besotted.

Then one morning she said to me,

"If you'll train to be a doctor,

I'll allow you a thousand a year."

Well, medical training can last

a lifetime, if one wishes.

- So, of course, you accepted.

- She put it in her will that night.

It's not a gracious living

but at least one

hasn't got to work for it.

I'm not partial

to anything strenuous, are you?

Chopsticks? One, two...

This demonstrates

that the faster the subject pedals,

the more oxygen he consumes.

Faster, lad. Put your back into it.

You've got to work! Work!

And that applies to you all.

You've all got to work.

And now drains, ladies and gentlemen.

Drains. Immensely important factors

in the health of the public.

I've studied them all my life.

You must, too,

to be efficient doctors.

There's only one thing more important

than drainage. What is that?

Sewage.

Come in.

- Well?

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