Dirty Girl Page #4

Could you leave me alone? Please?

Ray's a good man.

He could be a good father.

You can try to make me a Mormon,

but you're still a shitty mother.

[Whispers] Good guys don't come

around that often, Danielle.

I'd like to keep this one.

He's not even cute.

[Sniffling]

We could have

a good family going here.

I don't want your stupid fake family.

OK.

We'll see how you do on your own.

[Door closes]

Meet Joan.

So named for the irrepressible

lead singer of the Blackhearts.

And the alcoholic,

child-abusing movie star.

[Bell ringing]

Hey, wait up.

Don't f*** with me. I haven't

eaten in, like, 13 hours.

Why not?

Sue-Ann thinks she can

starve me into being a Mormon.

- That sucks.

- I'm having a really shitty day.

If you don't mind,

I'd just like to be left alone.

My dad said that I can

take you out tonight, his treat.

I have discriminated,

and designated. And I designate you.

Just... Please, just go away.

He gave me his credit card

if you want to go eat, or something.

Screw this.

I need a fork, you want one?

Chinese men must be good

with their fingers, I swear.

I hear they have straight pubic hair.

I tired to get a look at Shani Suzuki's

once in the locker room.

She's real careful with

her towel, so I never saw sh*t.

[Slow-tempo song plays]

- Why are the lights off?

- Uh, fluorescent bulbs hurt my eyes.

Sue-Ann's so cheap.

You'd think at her age

she'd want to give her face

the benefit of the doubt.

But it saves money, so I guess

she doesn't mind being green.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

You're hitting on me,

and I do not appreciate it.

I have discriminated,

and I have designated.

Ahh!

- [Grunts]

- [Music halts]

What the f***?

I thought you were a f*ggot.

- Only 65 percent.

- Huh?

My therapist showed me this chart.

It says that I'm 35 percent hetero.

And if I can get that up to 60 percent,

my parents won't

send me to military school.

You're bleeding.

I'm gonna get you a Kleenex.

Thanks.

Soon as it stops bleeding,

you'd best go.

You send me back now and

they're going to know we didn't do it.

Contrary to popular belief,

I'm not the world's personal whore bag.

I just figured, after yesterday,

you wouldn't mind.

You'd best go now.

Joan's family tree's due tomorrow.

Shouldn't we work on it?

Hm?

Sometimes...

...he hurts me.

[Sniffling]

Well...

...he already thought we were doing it.

What, am I going to save

my reputation now?

- You owe me one.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Ah, ah! Mm-mm.

[Paper crinkling]

Oh, sh*t.

It's lopsided.

Looks like we're gonna be spending

holidays with your side of the family.

We should put some on your side

just to balance it.

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