Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Page #6

---

Let's get back on the road, right, Mom?

I'm with Greg. Open road,

here comes the Heffley family.

Seriously, next time, wear pants.

There are a lot of weirdos out there.

And Beardos.

# I can patch up the hole #

# She left in the screen door #

# I can pawn off the ring #

# That she threw on the floor #

# And the grass will grow back where #

# She left tracks in the yard #

- (RODRICK SNIFFLING)

- # That ain't the hardest part #

That song is such a bummer.

What? Rodrick, get back.

(METAL MUSIC PLAYS)

What is this?

Is this even music?

It's Loded Diper's new demo! You're welcome!

- (MUSIC STOPS)

- Yeah. Thank you.

My drum solo was coming up.

- It's thirteen minutes of heaven.

- Nuh-uh.

First rule of a road trip

is the driver is the D.J.

That's great, because I'm the driver

and I picked our theme song for our trip.

It's a family tradition.

Grandpa and Grandma used to pick the music

and us kids would sing along.

(POP SONG STARTS)

- I like this.

- I know.

It was a big hit when we were dating, right?

# Yo, tell me what I want

what I really, really want #

# So tell me what you want

what you really, really want #

# I'll tell you what I want

what I really, really want #

Please stop, please stop!

No! This isn't happening!

Please, just stop, stop, please!

Okay, fine!

I was really enjoying that.

Just try something else. Anything else.

Okay.

You win.

I choose "Hola!:
Learn to Speak Spanish."

INSTRUCTOR:
Let's start with the most

common greeting, "Hello" or "Hi."

"Hi" is simply "Hola" in Spanish.

Can you try that, please?

Hola.

INSTRUCTOR:
Hola. Did you get that right?

"To drink" translates to "beber".

Try saying that. Beber.

You guys are in for a treat.

The country fair will be a great opportunity

for you to see how people live

in the real America.

Wait. So where do we live again?

You guys are actually descended

from country folk.

Peepaw's father worked three jobs

until he had enough money

to buy his own land to grow soybeans.

Why would anyone want to grow soybeans?

Great story. Wake me up when it's over.

Wow. Just wow.

Were we this bored by our parents?

If we agree to go to this country fair,

can we get our phones back after?

As a reward?

No.

How about just for an hour?

We do something for you

and you do something for us. That's fair.

The country fair is a treat.

You don't get a reward

for agreeing to a treat!

You boys are going to the country fair

and you're going to enjoy yourselves.

Do I make myself clear?

(BANJO STRUMMING)

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

(HORSE WHINNYING)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hey, what do you say we split up?

Um, you take Manny on the rides

and I'll show these boys

Rate this script:3.4 / 26 votes