Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo Page #3

I raise my hand, they look at it like

it's a goddamn croissant. Then:

Feel my pimp hand.

Where's the boat?

Oh. You scared me.

Hey. Do you know who I am?

I am Heinz Hummer. I'm the gigolo

with the most below. Okay?

I can give you a Filthy Lopez

like you never had before.

I could give you

a Cambodian Creamsicle...

...that will make you

scream all night. Okay?

But not now because I'm busy.

So leave me alone, b*tch.

Wait a second. Do I know you?

"New-jizz-fizz...

...ver-bur-ger-king... "?

Heinz.

Man, are you wasted.

I gotcha.

Coming up next, more weather.

What's this?

Hey, Heinz, wake up, check this out.

Holy sh*t.

Europe just got a little better.

Damn. That old Kaiser's got legs.

- You gotta keep your b*tches in line.

- Yeah.

- What's he doing here?

- I found him passed out in the alley.

I couldn't just leave him there.

I put in a good word for you.

Thanks, Deucey. Much appreciated.

I knew you'd come around.

Oh, sh*t. Heinz ain't passed out.

Heinz is dead.

No. He can't be.

I'm telling you, Heinz is dead.

See for yourself.

Watch this.

Maybe he's just a heavy sleeper.

I can't believe you brought

a dead man-whore in my home.

- What were you thinking?

- I didn't know you could die from pot.

This is no pot-related fatality.

This is no ganja accident.

This man was murdered.

The Man-whore Killer did this?

- We gotta call the police.

- No, no, no! Hey, hey!

Goddamn, white boy.

You think the police gonna believe

a black pimp...

...had nothing to do with a dead

prosti-dude in his crib?

Before I toss your dumb ass

in the canal, I just wanna say...

...for the record,

under T.J.'s management...

...this would have never happened.

I just gotta see

what all the fuss was about.

Goddamn!

No wonder Delisha never came back.

That sh*t's the real

Loch Ness monster.

What's over there?

- Look where his hand is.

- What the sh*t is this?

What you looking at?

Turn off them damn cameras!

I ain't gay! I was only

looking down his pants...

...because I heard his schlong

was so big and juicy.

Wait a minute.

That didn't sound right.

- Perv!

- Give me them damn cameras.

Where is he?

We now interrupt Naked Seinfeld

for this special report.

The suspected Man-whore Killer...

... has been spotted

on the Prinsengracht Canal...

... attempting to dispose

of his latest victim.

- I ain't gay!

- The suspected killer...

... has been identified as

Tiberius Jefferson Hicks.

- You idiot.

- He is still at large...

- ... and extremely...

- Hold it!

Hey. Hey, guys! How's it going?

- Where is he?

- I don't know.

- Where is he?

- I swear I don't know.

Your loyalty is impressive, sir.

You've once been arrested for

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